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GM. This is Milk Road, the crypto newsletter that sends you electrifying stories so you’re always the most interesting one in the group chat.

Here’s what we got today:

1 BIG THING TO WATCH THIS WEEK 🍿

All eyes will be on one thing this week: The United States vs. Sam Bankman-Fried.

Side note: In case you’re new here, he’s known as fkSBF (formerly known as SBF). Don’t blame me. Blame autocorrect.

And last week, fkSBFs’...

Looks like New York’s rats have evolved. They went from invading apartments → invading courtrooms.

But last week was a warm-up for the main snitch witness…Caroline Ellison. The former CEO of Alameda and fkSBF’s ex-girlfriend.

She’s the Bonnie to fkSBF’s Clyde. And now she’s turned on him…

Get your cookies ready, it’s gonna be a milky week.

And according to our poll from last week, 88% of you Roaders want us to keep the daily summaries going. Here are some of the best responses:

Ask and you shall receive.

We’ll keep you updated with all the best action from the case. All you need to do is keep an eye on your inboxes. Capiche?

This painting sold for $8 million… and everyday investors profited

When the painting by master Claude Monet (you may have heard of him) was bought for $6.8 million and sold for a cool $8 million just 631 days later, investors in shares of the offering received their share of the net proceeds.

All thanks to Masterworks, the award-winning platform for investing in blue-chip art. Masterworks does all of the heavy lifting like finding the painting, buying it, storing it, and eventually selling it. Masterworks files each offering with the SEC so that nearly anyone can invest in highly coveted artworks for just a fraction of the price of the entire piece.

To date, every one of its 16 sales out of its portfolio has returned a profit to investors.

With over 840,000 users, shares of offerings can sell out in just minutes. But Milk Road readers can skip the waitlist to join with this exclusive link.

Past performance is not indicative of future returns, Investing involves risk. See disclaimers here.

THE MCRIB IS BACK. WILL BITCOIN PUMP AGAIN? 📈

PSA: The McRib is back. I repeat, the McRib is back.

Whenever McDonald’s relaunches it, there are usually two things that go up:

It’s a phenomenon called The McRib Effect.

When the McRib is available, the S&P 500 has an average daily return of 7 basis points (0.07%) higher than on days when it isn’t available.

And it isn’t just the S&P500 that’s seen price increases over the years… Bitcoin has too.

Check it out:

That’s right, here at Milk Road we look toward the Golden Arches for the answers to our economic questions…

Ok. All jokes aside, McDonald's only offers the McRib when pork prices are low.

So there actually might be a correlation between its availability and the price of other risk assets.

We’ll see if the trend continues this year.

BITCOIN DIED 7 TIMES THIS YEAR… 🪦

“Bitcoin is dead.”

This is something we’ve all heard. A LOT.

The media says it. Billionaires say it. My aunt says it every time I see her.

Well, check it out…this website tracks all of Bitcoin’s Obituaries. (i.e. every time a person/company with a notable following says that Bitcoin is dead.)

Bitcoin is the 50 Cent of Crypto - been shot a lot, but still alive.

BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪

Deribit announced it will soon offer options for popular cryptocurrencies like XRP, SOL, and MATIC. Fun Fact of the Day: Deribit controls over 85% of the global crypto options market.

VitaDAO launched a new biotech company called Matrix Biosciences to fund and advance early-stage longevity research. The new company will operate like a traditional company and VitaDAO will be the majority shareholder.

HTX (formerly Huobi) recovered $8M in stolen funds. The centralized exchange paid the attacker about $400,000 in ETH as a "white hat bonus."

Swan and Blockstream are teaming up to introduce a new “collaborative custody” service. The goal is to make Bitcoin storage easier by offering a multi-signature wallet and third-party assistance for backup and transfer.

MILKY MEMES 🤣

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DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research.