Hi John,

Can you confront someone for poor behavior at work without offending them? Today’s Q&A offer three tips, and we welcome your ideas on the comments.

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3 Tips for Addressing Unacceptable Behavior in the Workplace
by Emily Gregory

As a nurse manager, how do I tell a master’s-prepared registered nurse that sleeping at their workstation is unprofessional? In many of my previous management jobs, finding an employee sleeping at their workstation was a fire-able offense. In this environment, the employee appears to see no difference between sleeping in a designated break room and sleeping at their workstation.

Signed,
Tiptoeing

You describe a classic gap situation: there is a gap between what you are expecting and what you are observing. It can be helpful to think of accountability conversations in terms of the gap because framing it this way can often take the temperature down a notch in an otherwise frustrating situation.

When I ask people what feeling comes to mind when I use the phrases “talk about a problem” or “address an issue,” the most common response is “ugh,” which isn’t really an emotion, but you probably get the idea. So, first tip: recognize this as a simple gap between what you were expecting and what you are observing. Your job as their manager is to describe the gap and partner with the person to close it. Here are three suggestions for how.
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