It is with great pride and fanfare that today we announce the third nominee for the coveted Californian of the Year Award.
 
Meant to recognize those special individuals who, through talent, skills, and mind-numbing stupidity, have changed the character of Colorado to better resemble the woke dependency state of California.
 
That doesn't mean every nominee is a card-carrying socialist. This is the case with today's nominee.
 
Colorado could not become the bastion of progressivism if progressives weren't elected to office. But progressives often don't win elections in Colorado. Most of the time Republicans just lose elections.
 
And come on, sure, Republicans in Colorado aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed, but even they can't lose this badly without help. The only way to explain the stranglehold progressives have on the legislature, governor's office, and the courts is to accept a  simple fact - progressives have planted a spy inside the Colorado GOP. 
 
The sole purpose of that double agent is to sabotage the party until it is completely irrelevant and a national laughing stock.
 
And today we honor that saboteur, that Inspector Clouseau of the right, by nominating none other than Colorado GOP chairman Dave Williams for Californian of the Year.
 
From advising that we should burn gay pride flags, to holding committee meetings quite literally under a bridge, to running for office without giving up his position, this man took an already ineffective party and turned it into a circular firing squad. 
 
So successful was Mr. Williams that when the National GOP wanted to fund a congressional candidate campaign in Colorado, they sent their money to the more trustworthy Arizona State GOP so Dave could not abscond with it.
 
Congratulations to the cyclone of chaos and dysfunction, Dave Williams, without whom Colorado would be a saner and freer state!
 
Tune in tomorrow to learn the next nominee. And next Monday we will announce the winner and their prize!
 
And please don't forget us on Colorado Gives Day. Help us reach our $100,000 goal. 

Think Freedom!