Welcome to your Wednesday edition, friends! So, you want to make money with YouTube. What’s the best time to post your video masterpiece to give it the best chance of going viral? Is it … 7 a.m., 9 a.m., 1 p.m. or 7 p.m.? You’ll find the correct answer at the bottom of this newsletter!

👉 Do your part to keep this newsletter free to you. Calling all parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Check out today’s sponsor, Bark, maker of the best smartphone for kids I’ve seen. It’s tamper-proof and you can be sure the kiddo in your life is safe. — Kim

You're suddenly thrown into a situation where you must perform CPR to save a life. Oh, no. You don't remember anything from that course 15 years ago.

You might think a quick "Hey, Siri" would pull up the instructions quickly and clearly, but that's absolutely the worst thing to do. In a recent study, researchers asked voice assistants questions related to cardiac arrest emergencies. Yep, it was a complete disaster.

I don't want you to make this mistake. I know this isn't the most exciting topic to cover, but it is so very important.

When someone needs CPR, call 911. Period. Somehow, only nine of the 32 assistants’ responses suggested this critical step. A whopping 88% of responses gave a website where you could read the steps to perform CPR. Really?

🏥 If you need the steps or want to take a refresher course, here’s the link to the Red Cross website. You may have heard that "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees is an excellent song to sing when doing CPR, as its beats per minute mimic those needed for chest compressions. It’s great, but here are a few other recommendations you might remember better:

• "Baby Shark" — Pinkfong
• "Dancing Queen" — ABBA
• "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" — Cyndi Lauper
• "I Will Survive" — Gloria Gaynor
• "Sweet Home Alabama" — Lynyrd Skynyrd

The idea that your smart assistant would direct you to a website in an emergency got me thinking about other commands you shouldn't ask. Here are seven things you're better off handling yourself.

Play doctor: You’re better off not asking Siri, Google or Alexa for any medical advice — not just lifesaving advice. Trusting those smart assistants might just make things worse. It's always best to call or book a telehealth appointment with your doctor.

How to hurt someone: Don't ask your smart assistant about harming someone, even if you're just venting. Those chats with Siri or Google Assistant could come back to bite you if you end up on the wrong side of the law. Keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself.

Anything that ends up with your mug shot: Don't ask Alexa where to buy drugs, where to hide a body or anything else suspicious. Like asking your smart assistant how to hurt someone, these types of questions could be used against you.

Be your telephone operator: If you need to call your closest Home Depot to see if they have something in stock, find the number yourself. Same goes for asking that assistant to call emergency services. Dialing 911 takes two seconds. 

Deal with your money: Although voice assistants can connect to your financial apps, there are many security issues with voice data. Savvy cybercriminals can hack into your phone, steal your voice and use it to drain your accounts. Just log into your bank's website or mobile app and call it a day.

“Will I die if I eat this?” If you're on a hike wondering if the berries you found would make a good snack, voice assistants aren't reliable sources. There's conflicting information online about poisonous foods and plants, and taking their advice could land you a trip to the hospital.

“Get rid of this.” Don't ask Alexa or Siri to clear your search history, delete an app or remove photos. I've had a couple of mishaps where a simple misunderstanding led to something important getting wiped out. Trust me, it's worth the extra minute to do it manually.

Smart assistants record everything

If you don't want Big Tech companies getting their virtual ears on what you say, you can switch off those features. Here’s how.

Some things are better left to human judgment. Stay smart with your smart assistants!

💒 How are marriage and CPR training alike? For both, you get a certificate showing you can do it and hope you never have to do it again. (Was that a chuckle I heard?)

Don’t underestimate how good kids and teens are with tech. They can get around parental controls no problem. That’s why the tamper-free Bark Phone is unique.

• Content monitoring: The Bark Phone automatically scans your child's texts, social media, apps and searches.
• Tamper-proof design: Kids can't delete texts, change parental controls or access VPNs to bypass restrictions.
• Location tracking: Keep tabs on your child with real-time location tracking.
• Screen-time limits: Set firm, unchangeable screen time limits.

Get all of this (and peace of mind) for $49 a month.

🚨 This is only a test: Mark your calendar for Wednesday, Oct. 4, at 2:20 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. Every TV, radio and cellphone you own will blare. Yep, it’s a test of the Emergency Alert System — super important in the event of a disaster. Fun fact: This is only the second nationwide test sent to all cell devices.

The truth is here: A Harvard physicist, Avi Loeb, says metal fragments found in a 2014 crash of a meteor-like object in the Pacific Ocean are from another world. The metal is different from any known natural or manmade alloy. Alien ship? Perhaps. They must not have read Earth’s review; we only have a one-star rating.

iFooled! In July, 9to5Mac spotted an Instagram account: @tim.d.cook. (You know, the CEO of Apple.) It seemed legit since several Apple big-time VPs were following it. Nope, it was a total fake. I’d loved to have heard Tim give them his $466.15. That’s how much he makes every 5 minutes on the job based on his $49 million annual salary.

Look closely, very, very closely: Google’s latest release is SynthID, a watermark for AI-generated images that can’t be seen by the human eye but is spotted by detection tools. It’s in the testing stages, but this would be big before the next election cycle. Deepfakes are already way too good.

Nothing is free: So far, Google has been happy to hand out its artificial intelligence (AI) services for free. Not anymore. Big companies who use Google Workspace will soon have to pay $30 per month per user. No word yet on small-biz or consumer pricing. That stinks.

Is it worth $3,000? “Barbie Botox” is the hot, new dermatology trend among social media influencers. Inject into the trapezius muscles, and you instantly have a longer, slimmer-looking neck (WSJ, paywall link). Your traps are those muscles right at the bottom of your neck and top of your shoulders. There’s a different use, too: The injections can reduce neck pain and stiffness.

🍀 Don’t expect to get this lucky: Elon Musk livestreamed himself driving around California last Friday, holding his phone. That’s illegal, but police in Palo Alto say he won’t be fined since no officer witnessed it firsthand. Oh, there’s also a point in the vid where he had to slam on the breaks because Tesla’s Full Self-Driving almost ran a red light.

While you're brushing your teeth, waiting for your toast or sipping your first coffee of the day, I deliver the top tech news story and a digital life hack, all within two minutes. No rambling, no fluff — just straight-to-the-point tech talk.

👉 Get my Daily Tech Update podcast today!

Do you use Amazon's Subscribe & Save feature? They lure you with an excellent discount to set it up, and you can choose how often you get something auto-delivered (two weeks to every six months). It's handy for things you buy again and again.

You can save anywhere from 5% to 15% and adjust your schedule or cancel before your item ships again.

There are a heck of a lot of useful Subscribe & Save options. Here are some of the most popular, according to Amazon:

• Liquid I.V. hydration powder packets — Three times the electrolytes of sports drinks without all the sugar.
• Mighty Patch pimple stickers — Because it was a lie when they said you wouldn’t get pimples again after your teen years.
• Affresh washing machine cleaner tablets — Keeps your towels, blankets and clothes fresher.
• Earth Breeze laundry detergent sheets — So much easier than liquid detergent or pods.
• Goli apple cider vinegar gummies — Plus B vitamins to support your immune system and heart health.
• LUMIFY redness eye drops — (Ben Stein voice) If you have dry eyes, these drops are amazing!
• Fresh Step cat litter — Better than carrying it in from the store.
• Schick eyebrow and face razors — Easier than waxing, and you can do it yourself.

Pro tip: Don't get lured into subscribing just for the deal if you don't truly need the product. I know it's tough. It’s worth going through your list regularly, too.

😂 I love how all these young YouTubers are getting into classic rock. They’re always telling everyone, “Don’t forget to like Cher and subscribe.”

You know that restaurant you left a scathing Google review for because of its horrendous service? They made it up to you, going above and beyond to make things right. Now you're feeling guilty and want to change your review. No worries — it's easy.

• Open Google Maps and find your review. 
• Click those three dots, and select Edit review. You'll need to be logged in to your Google account to make changes.
• You can add details about how the restaurant addressed your concerns and provided outstanding service.
• To remove your original review altogether, click Delete review.

⭐ If you're thinking about dropping a negative review, keep it real and stick to the facts. Be specific about what disappointed you — no need to exaggerate or make stuff up. Just be honest and transparent.

Talk about putting words in your mouth.

The answer: My bad — this was kind of a trick question. It takes YouTube up to two hours to fully optimize a video. That means Monday through Friday, you’ll want to post between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m. On Saturday and Sunday, 9 a.m. to 11 a.m. is best. 

During the week, it’s best to post when people are off work and have time to scroll YouTube. On weekends, it’s ideal to post when people are done with their chores, home from church, that sort of thing.

📲 Thanks for reading — and double thanks for supporting today’s partner, Bark Phone, the best phone for the kids in your family. I sure wish this phone had been around when my son, Ian, was little! Your clicks support our work, so thank you from me and the team. — Kim