Serenity at 70, Gaiety at 80
by Garrison Keillor

 

Garrison’s humorous take on aging and why we should all want to keep getting older is available on Amazon and in some bookstores in both print and digital versions. An audio version read by Garrison will be coming soon. Here is a preview of the first chapter. Enjoy!
 

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I'm alone: please let me tell you about it


I am alone in New York this week, and I have double vision so when I walk down the street, I pass identical twins who often are leading identical dogs and my loneliness feels rather dramatic. Double vision cost me my driver’s license and as a pedestrian I’m moved by the world around me, by the kids playing in the park, squealing and chattering, inheriting this grim world of bad actors and rampant horror. I had a good long life and I’m not sure they’ll have the same opportunities showered on me. This makes me terribly sad.
 

Go to Garrison Keillor and Friends on Substack to read the rest of THE COLUMN >>>  


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This week on A Prairie Home Companion

This week on A Prairie Home Companion, we revisit a classic performance from 1998 where we traveled to Portland, Oregon, for a show featuring guests Eric Bogle and David Frishberg. Highlights include a Lewis and Clark sketch, Duct Tape, Café Beouf, and songs “Frog Went a-Courtin’,” “Saratoga Hunch,” and “Front Row Cowboy.” Also with us, the Royal Academy of Radio Actors (Tim Russell and Sue Scott), the Guy’s All-Star Shoe Band, plus the latest News from Lake Wobegon. Join us Saturday for a listen via our Facebook page at 5 p.m. CT (or click the link below).
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More about this week’s featured guests

St. Paul native and jazz pianist Dave Frishberg was known for his wry lyrics and memorable melodies. Four of his albums earned Grammy nominations. And his songs have been performed by some of America’s finest voices, including Rosemary Clooney and Michael Feinstein. Frishberg’s genius is apparent to anyone who grew up in the ’70s hearing his Schoolhouse Rock segments, including the popular “I’m Just a Bill.” He was raised in St. Paul, Minnesota, attended journalism school at the University of Minnesota and then moved to the East Coast. He spent the ’60s in New York City, playing in the rhythm section of jazz greats — Al Cohn, Zoot Sims, Ben Webster, and Gene Krupa — and accompanying singers such as Carmen McRae. In 1971, Frishberg moved to Los Angeles, where he became a sought-after studio musician. 

 
“My Attorney Bernie” >>>

 
Singer-songwriter Eric Bogle was born in Scotland and worked as an accountant before becoming a full-time musician. Now a naturalized citizen of Australia, in 1972 he wrote the anti-war song “And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda.” It is Australia’s most recorded song and has been performed by Rod McKuen, the Pogues, and Makem and Clancey, whose version was the largest-selling single in Irish history. His adopted country has honored him for his songwriting with the Australian Peace Award, given in 1986 to commemorate the International Year of Peace, and with the Order of Australia, given in 1987 for Bogle’s contributions to that country’s music and musical heritage. Bogle’s songs often contain political commentary: for example, in 1988, Bogle wrote “Something of Value,” which comments on the Australian Bicentennial celebration’s failure to acknowledge the Aborigines, who had been there for 40,000 years.
“Singing in the Spirit Home” >>>


Here are the lyrics to “Frog Went a-Courtin’” from this week’s classic show.

Well, Froggie went a-courtin’ and he did ride, uh huh. (SPLASH)
Sword and a pistol by his side, uh huh. (GUNSHOT)
Froggie went a-courtin’ just for fun,
He rode off to Oregon, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (FROG, SPLASH)
Froggie met a spotted owl, uh huh. (OWL)
Froggie met a spotted owl, uh huh. (OWL)
They sat by a pond and he fell in love
And he sang her a song he was quite fond of, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (FROG BARITONE)
Mr. Froggie said, “Come marry me, uh huh.” (FROG)
Mr. Froggie said, “Come marry me, uh huh. (OWL SHYNESS)
We’ll ride east on I-84
And settle down by a river shore. Uh huh uh huh uh huh.” (FROG)
She said, “What would the wedding supper be, uh huh?”
And Froggie said, “A dry Chablis, uh huh. (FROG)
A dry Chablis and a plate of Brie,
A mouse for you and a fly for me, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.” (OWL)
She said, “Who’ll be there for the wedding vows, uh huh?”
And Froggie said, “Six brown cows, uh huh. (MOO)
Six brown cows to carry the train,
And two black sheep to open champagne, (SHEEP) uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.” (CHAMPAGNE POP)
She said, “Where would we go for a honeymoon, uh huh?”
And Froggie said, “To the Clair de Lune. Uh huh. (LOON)
Clair herself will be our host
She’ll serve us bugs on buttered toast, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.” (LOON)
She said, “What will our babies be, uh huh?
Will they look like you or look like me, uh huh? (OWL)
One more thing: I have to warn ya,
I don’t love frogs from California, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh” (FROG)
Froggie said, “I’m not from there, uh huh.
I do not texturize my hair. Uh huh.
I do not tan, my skin is blotchy,
And these webs are not Versace, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.” (FROG)
She said, “Where will we live if you marry me, uh huh?
Will we live in the top of a redwood tree, uh huh?” (OWL)
Froggie said, “I don’t climb trees,
We’ll live on a lily pad, if you please. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh”. (FROG AND SPLASH)
Then Froggie pulled out a big cigar, uh huh.
Froggie pulled out a big cigar, uh huh. (FROG)
He lit it up and took a puff,
And his lady love said, “That’s enough. I’m gone. Goodbye. Farewell.” (OWL)
She said, “Take that down to the riverside, uh huh.
Cigar smoke I can’t abide, uh huh.
It makes my feathers brown and greasy,
And you know we are an endangered specie. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.”
“You’re the ugliest frog that I ever saw, uh huh. (OWL)
In Oregon, you’re against the law, uh huh. (OWL)
I’d rather stay here in a hollow log
Than be sweet-talked by a big-time frog, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.” (FROG)
Mr. Froggie noticed the light get dim, uh huh. (FROG)
Mr. Froggie noticed the light get dim, uh huh. (FROG)
Mr. Froggie noticed the light get dim,
There was a big dark shadow over him. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (FROG FEAR)
A thought went through Mr. Froggie’s mind, uh huh. (FROG)
He shoulda stuck with his own kind, uh huh. (FROG GULP)
He waved goodbye and before he could talk,
Mr. Frog was caught by a silver hawk, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (HAWK).
Mr. Frog went stiff when he felt the bite, uh huh. (FROG GULP)
And then he looked down from a very great height, uh huh.
He and the hawk became as one,
And the frog got to see all of Oregon, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (HAWK)
And the spotted owl found a mate, uh huh. (OWL)
And they started in to propagate, uh huh.
They made a nest in the Great Northwest,
And their kids were the sweetest and handsomest, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (OWL PRIDE)
The moral of the story is look both ways, uh huh.
Don’t be foolish or one of these days, uh huh,
There may be somebody overhead,
Giving thanks for his daily bread. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh. (HAWK)

© 1998 by Garrison Keillor

This Week:  Garrison Keillor & Company LIVE

On March 26, Keillor & Company — with Prudence Johnson and Dan Chouinard — will be venturing to Worthington, Minnesota. It’s an evening of classic love songs, poetry, the News from Lake Wobegon, and a thoughts about why you should go on getting older. April 9 finds GK at the tiny Swedenborgian Church in St. Paul — a reading from his new novel, Boom Town. And of course there’s the FULL CAST reunion of A Prairie Home Companion at Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheatre, with Brad Paisley, Elvin Bishop, Heather Masse, and Ellie Dehn.

March 26th in Worthington,MN >>>
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A Prairie Home Companion Red Socks

Peter Rosen once produced a documentary about Garrison Keillor titled The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes. What the title failed to realize is that Garrison not only wore red shoes onstage for the APHC shows, but he also wore a red tie and red socks to match. Now you can wear a pair of Prairie Home socks and keep your feet warm on those cool winter nights. Knit jacquard socks are made with a woven imprint combining both the original logo and the microphone from the more recent logo. One size fits all.

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The "New" Duct Tape Shirt

Sponsored by the American Duct Tape Council — duct tape is the only tool you need at your disposal and this shirt humorously tells folks why. Gray cotton shirt is available in sizes S–XXL

 

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Giving Thanks Shirt

Our limited-edition Garrison quotation product selection continues with this classic shirt highlighting a simple life mantra: “Giving thanks is the key to happiness.” That’s exactly where it’s at — being happy and appreciative for everything you have in your life. Lightweight cotton/poly blend shirt is available in sizes S–XXL

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