Right now, John, from worlds far away, as you read these very words, you're being watched, every word you speak is being recorded, and every step you take is being traced.
Talk about fan clubs.
Must be nice,
The Universe
John, we found your people!! What a colorful bunch…
"There! Look, look, look!! It's John!!!! Look, John's checking email... YES! OMG... reading... about... us! O-o-o-o-o-hhh... We love you, John! We love you like crazy!!! We are so proud of you!!!"