Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) addresses the delegates during the third-day session of the Republican National Convention in Cleveland on Wednesday. (Carolyn Kaster/Associated Press)

Even as marriage in America becomes more egalitarian, through forces good — men wanting to be more involved with their families — and bad — rising economic pressures — the role of political spouse still remains frustratingly hidebound. If you’re a man seeking the highest office in the land, the assumption still abounds that no matter how accomplished or professionally oriented your wife is, she will take an unpaid job as a national ornament and mom. And if you’re a woman competing for the same job and you’re married to a man, people will be stupefied by the idea that said man might perform some of the same ceremonial roles that are traditionally assigned to women.

And like everything else about the 2016 campaign, the dynamics between the candidates and their spouses, as well as other candidates’ spouses, have been particularly fraught. But if nothing else, they have offered up three strong lessons on how to be a good partner, or at least how not to be an utterly garbage one:

1. If your spouse is going out on a limb for you, make sure he or she is prepared and supported: Melania Trump is, by all accounts, a fairly private person who is not super-comfortable on the campaign trail. So that her husband and his staff let her go on stage at the Republican convention and deliver a speech partially plagiarized from Michelle Obama, and then let that become the dominant story of a news cycle and a half, seems reckless and cruel, not to mention obvious proof that Donald Trump does not actually hire all the best people. If you want someone to do something that does not come easy to him or her for the sake of your career, you should make it as painless for the person as possible.

2. If you’re in a supportive role to your spouse, don’t upstage him or her or go off-message: For a lot of Democrats, and probably even some Republicans, one of the oddest things about Hillary Clinton’s runs for the presidency has been watching the deterioration of her husband’s fastball. Bill Clinton used to be an astonishingly gifted politician, but he hasn’t been able to find a graceful way to acknowledge the failures of his own legacy, or to avoid getting pointlessly engaged in public arguments with people who disagree with him. I’m sure it’s hard for Clinton to acknowledge that the best way he could support his wife is by knowing when to step back. But it’s a crucial lesson.

3. Don’t let anyone trample your spouse for personal gain: Ted Cruz’s refusal to endorse Donald Trump, a man who mocked Cruz’s wife, Heidi, as ugly and mentally ill (and also suggested that Cruz’s father may have been part of a conspiracy to kill President John F. Kennedy) is probably the only thing I will ever admire about Ted Cruz.