Hi John,

Do you have a friend or colleague who doesn’t listen well? Do they tune you out, daydream, get distracted by devices?

Today’s Q&A offers a few ideas for addressing such behavior.
Addressing a Poor Listener
by Brittney Maxfield

I’ve noticed lately that my friend isn’t giving me her full attention when I’m speaking. She will start the conversation, but when I’m discussing a point, her attention starts to wander. Sometimes she won’t even acknowledge what I’m saying. It feels like she wants to end the conversation while I’m still speaking. It’s very hurtful and it makes me feel like she does not value what I say. How can I get her to stop doing this?

Signed,
Ignored

In our busy, technology-saturated world, gaining and retaining people’s attention can feel like an impossible challenge. We must compete with smartphones in every hand and screens on every wall. And if not distracted by screens, people are preoccupied with an overloaded to-do list and anxiety around getting it all done. I can empathize with your frustration of not having your friend’s attention. I can also empathize with your friend who is struggling to give you the attention you deserve.
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It seems rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
 
—Erma Bombeck