Hey, hello, friend! Friday looks so dang good on you! In Texas, around 300,000 people are descending upon Austin for SXSW, the annual music festival turned tech takeover. That’s just a few more than the 700 who attended the inaugural fest in … A.) 1955, B.) 1987, C.) 1979 or D.) 2000. Think you know the answer? Find out at the end!

Watch this! The A‑Team (Andrew and Allie) is holding things down on the daily podcast while I’m in Japan, loving the culture and sushi. Let me tell you, the people here are so nice. I can’t wait to tell you all about it. Catch today’s live show at 10:30 a.m. Pacific (1:30 p.m. Eastern) on YouTube, Rumble or Facebook. No kidding, they’re talking to a real-life CIA master of disguise. Now, on to the news! — Kim

As I’m scouring 35 to 40 websites a day to make sure we’re both up to speed on the tech world, I’m seeing a common theme: Drama. There’s a lot of it in the AI world right now, and, unsurprisingly, it’s mainly humans causing the buzz. While everyone from Elon Musk to The New York Times is busy suing OpenAI, I’m just focused on whether these AI chatbots actually work.

So, how useful are they, really? I did the work for you. I compared the free versions of ChatGPT from OpenAI, Google Gemini and Perplexity to see how well they helped with some real-life scenarios.

First, I backed out of ‘Aunt Frida’s’ family meal …

… Without hurting her feelings, of course. I got our three bots to draft an email politely excusing me from a family meal put on by an imaginary aunt. We’ve all been there.

• ChatGPT offered "my sincerest appreciation" for the aunt, mentioning "I truly value the time we spend as a family" and that it was a "difficult decision" not to attend. A little too dramatic for me.
• Perplexity started with a thank you for the meal "you graciously organize each year,” complete with "heartfelt gratitude" for the event and "regret" and "apologies" I wouldn't make it this time. It felt impersonal.

Winner: Gemini. It acknowledged the "effort and love" the aunt was putting into the "special gathering" and said I was "incredibly disappointed to miss out.” Bonus: It suggested an alternative, like a video call.

Then, I launched a ‘million-dollar’ business

“Shark Tank,” here I come! I asked the bots to write a pitch for my hot, new business idea: A phone case that physically locks your handset so you're not distracted from work or family time.

• Gemini called it "LockAway" and promised "focused productivity" from this innovative product. Gemini said it "isn't just about protecting your phone — it's about protecting your time and attention.” OK, not bad.
• Perplexity’s genius name? “Smartphone Case with a Lock.” Step aside, Steve Jobs. Seriously, though, it did come up with a decent tagline: "Where productivity meets peace of mind."

Winner: ChatGPT. Its product name — “FocusGuard” — was the most imaginative, and they even included made-up testimonials! It raved about “FocusGuard’s” “ingenious” benefits for productivity, well-being and relationships. Finally, a little respect! 😂

Final score – ChatGPT: 2, Gemini: 1, Perplexity: 0

Head to my website to see the final challenge! (Wish I had room for all three here.)

Listen, if AI can help us avoid awkward social interactions, it’ll be a crowning achievement. For now, they’re still autocorrect machines dialed up to 11. I'm not sure I'd outsource any of these jobs to AI entirely just yet, but they do offer a good starting point.

One thing that'll never be written by AI: This newsletter! It’s all me, the real human Kim‑Bot.

📚 Speaking of … Why did the writer use AI for his novel? His characters needed a little byte of help. Woof, I know.

I love it when things are functional. For this list, I put together a few keychain goodies I’ve bought that fall into this category!

• A universal charging cable, complete with USB, USB‑C, micro‑USB and Apple Lightning adapters.
• An emergency Advil stash.
• A seatbelt slicer and safety hammer for escaping a wrecked car.
• An eyeglass repair kit.
• An Apple AirTag holder. Ta-da! Your keys are now unlosable.

Just plane dumb: The TSA is rolling out self-checkout lanes. Just scan, step through and hope a hairclip doesn't send you back. This concept has already cost grocery stores millions in theft. I doubt this one will get off the ground.

⚠️ Step up, Meta: Forty states are telling Meta to get its act together after a 1,000% spike in Facebook and Instagram scam complaints in New York alone. Meta's response? It’s investing “heavily” in tech and staff to combat account hacking. Guess cutting all those security jobs in 2022 wasn't such a good idea, huh?

QR cronies: Hackers have upped their tactics with QR codes in PDFs that lead to fake sites and steal login details. Double-check those “official” emails and think twice before you send anything to a random online portal.

Mixed signals: The Biden administration is pushing a bill that could kick TikTok out of the U.S. Politics aside, this move doesn’t make sense — President Biden just joined TikTok for his re-election campaign.

🚢 Lock him up: Arvin Joseph Mirasol, a cruise ship worker, was caught recording children in bathrooms and filming guests under their beds. The feds uncovered his disgusting and horrific practice on a USB loaded with tons of videos. Mirasol is facing justice in court on March 18. Hope he likes a broom up his butt.

Stars-truck: The $100,000 Tesla Cybertruck is the latest accessory for celebs like Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber and Jay Leno. People are already cashing in, flipping their Cybertrucks for double the price. Who’s going to tell them it looks like a 5-year-old’s drawing?

Not just a rumor anymore: Apple is officially cooking up a foldable MacBook for 2027. This analyst says it’ll have a 20.3-inch screen and could change how we use laptops forever. As for pricing, well, it's Apple, so start saving now.

🥽 VR versus PTSD: Such great news! A study found VR could reduce PTSD in veterans. The approach tweaks the brain's reaction to trauma, offering a more effective treatment than traditional therapies. In just six 25-minute sessions, vets reported big-time relief — really amazing stuff.

Social media apps are designed to keep you scrolling. Do yourself a solid and tell your phone to limit your time on TikTok, Instagram or your weakness of choice.

On iPhone:

• Go to Settings > Screen Time.
• Tap App Limits > Add Limit.
• To set limits for individual apps, tap the category name to see everything there, then select the ones you want to limit.
• Tap Next at the top right, then set the amount of time allowed.
• When you finish setting limits, tap Add.

On Android:

• Open Settings > Digital Wellbeing & parental controls, then tap the chart.
• Select the app you want to limit or tap the hourglass icon.
• Choose how much time you can spend on that app. Then, tap OK or Set.
• The app will switch to black and white when you have one minute. After that, you’re locked out.

⏱️ For the record, you can override it once time runs out, but don’t! You set that limit for a reason. Speaking of time, the past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Printer pro tip: If you run out of black ink right before you need to print a doc, don’t panic — just change the font color to dark gray or blue. You probably won’t even be able to tell! OK, now order some ink.

🛜 Wi-Fi faster: Don't want to waste any time getting online? Android can automatically reconnect to Wi‑Fi networks it recognizes, so you don't have to do it manually. From Settings, tap Network and Internet > Internet > Network preferences and enable Turn on Wi‑Fi automatically.

Tag, you're it: Keep your files organized in Finder on your Mac by using tags. I have tags for work stuff and family stuff, and it's a real timesaver. Press Cmd + click on a file to pick from the list of current tags or to create some of your own.

🖥️ Take the shortcut: Need something quickly on your Windows PC? Make it a shortcut on your desktop. Drag apps (from the taskbar), files (from File Explorer) and websites (from your browser's address bar) right to the desktop to create shortcuts.

Excel helper: Hit Ctrl + [ to view where the contents of a cell came from, like a formula or reference. Sweet. A ton more Excel shortcuts here.

Every weekday, I stream live on YouTube. Think fun tech news like you read in this newsletter but in video form.

I chat with interesting folks (like the woman with over 50 tech implants and the tech billionaire who wants to live forever) and spend time talking tech and life with my friend, Andrew.

Join us at 10:30 a.m. Pacific (1:30 p.m. Eastern) and drop a comment. I might just read it on the live show! If you miss the livestream, you can always watch on demand.

✅ Here’s the deal: I’m at just about 81,000 subscribers to my channel. I really want to get to 100,000. Every subscriber counts. Help me out! Subscribe now to help me reach my goal — and so you never miss a video.

Sardines will see an airplane and say, “Look, it’s a can of people!”

The answer: B.) 1987. That's when SXSW kicked off in Austin. Here’s a fun fact — the name was inspired by the Alfred Hitchcock thriller, “North by Northwest.”

You know, I considered naming this newsletter after a Hitchcock flick, but the options were too scary. Think about it: “The Man Who Knew Too Much (of My SSN),” “Dial M for Malware” or “To Catch an Identity Thief.” Shiver.

🤗 Thanks for all you do to support me and the team. We wouldn’t be here without you! See you here tomorrow — same time, same place — with a smart tip if you’re ready to break up with your browser. Hit those ratings below to let us know how we’re doing! Every opinion counts! — Kim