Canine Delicacies
From Chicken Soup for the Soul: My Hilarious, Heroic, Human Dog
By Joe Sainz

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
~Joe Weinstein

As responsible dog owners, my wife and I buy our dogs premium foods with esoteric ingredients such as venison that cost more than my lunch. In fact, one of the treats we give them for rare good behavior is a piece of a meat log, which I'll confess I've secretly dreamed of having with eggs and toast. One would expect our dogs to agree with our responsible choices for their nutrition. These expensive items, fit for the most royal of pets, are what every healthy canine should crave.

Well, one would think so; however, our dogs eat what is essentially garbage. Don't misunderstand me, they also eat the good stuff that we put in front of their snouts a couple of times per day in carefully measured amounts. But what do they do when we let them out to play in the yard? They eat branches, grass, weeds, dead (and live) bugs, pebbles, and any other organic or inorganic matter they can find. That is what they eat outside. Inside, they have a much "better" diet of paper towels, napkins, cardboard, lint, and their all-time-favorite: stuffing from the plush toys they disembowel within fifteen minutes of their arrival from the pet store. (Keep reading)