1.  Biden Cheers Guilty Verdict for Vigilantes Who Killed Arbery

 JURY’S IN 

Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp also released a statement blasting the three convicts for “vigilantism.”

2.  31 Migrants Die While Trying to Cross Channel to Britain

  GUT PUNCH 

Fishermen told Reuters that the migrants faced unpredictable waves and frigid temperatures.

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3.  Accessorize Your Home With Artisanal Art and Decor

 AD BY GLOBEIN 

Small details can give your home an entirely new look. These unique pieces will make your home something special for the holidays.

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4.  Aaron Rodgers Shows Foot to Prove He Doesn’t Have COVID Toe

 GET A SHOT, SAVE A TOE 

The player said he was just kidding when he blamed the condition for forcing him off the field during a weekend game.

5.  Defense Department Launches New UFO Task Force to Dig Deeper

 THE TRUTH IS...STILL OUT THERE 

The task force follows a June report from a previous task force that noted more than 140 instances of UFOs within the last two years.

6.  You Can Get a Roomba Vacuum for Only $200 Right Now

 BLACK FRIDAY 2021 

Know anyone who needs your old vacuum? Cause you’re about to upgrade.

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7.  NK Sentences Man to Death for Smuggling in ‘Squid Game’

 NOT A GAME 

The dictatorship banned the dissemination of media from capitalist countries last year.

8.  Maddow: Proud Boys & Oath Keepers Have ‘Really Gay’ Names

 ‘THE LESBIAN AVENGERS’ 

The MSNBC host said she’s always found the two militia names to be unintentionally hilarious.

9.  Teacher: School Demanded I Take Down Pride Flag, So I Quit

 NOT DOING IT 

An email reportedly went out to school staff on Friday telling them not to display the Pride flag.

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10.  Attorney’s Forgery Cost Mom Custody of Her Kids: Prosecutor

 BEYOND THE PALE 

The Ohio attorney is facing a kidnapping charge after allegedly forging “juvenile court documents” that saw a mother’s kids taken away from her.

11.  Biden Picks Shalanda Young as 1st Black Woman to Lead OMB

  HISTORIC 

Young was confirmed as deputy director earlier this year.

12.  JP Morgan CEO: Sorry, Bank Won’t Outlast Chinese Greatness

 NOT EVERYONE’S A COMEDIAN 

Jamie Dimon made the joke during an event in Boston on Tuesday.

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13.  Taylor Swift’s New Album Sparks Surge in Red Lipstick Sales

 INFLUENCE 

Google searches for “what lipstick does Taylor Swift wear” went up 800 percent after the re-release of “Red (Taylor’s Version).”

14.  Most of Astroworld Victims Were Trapped in Same Packed Area

 TRAGIC 

An investigation found that the event’s conditions practically made leaving the area during the crowd surge impossible.

15.  Statue of Disgraced University of Michigan Coach Vandalized

 DEMEMORIALIZED 

Bo Schembechler allegedly knew the team’s doctor had assaulted players—including his own son—and kept it quiet.

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