1.  Burr’s Bro-in-Law Dumped Stock Minute After Senator’s Call

 BRO 

Sen. Richard Burr had access to material nonpublic information about the looming economic impact of the coronavirus in February 2020, according to the SEC.

2.  This Is Facebook’s New Name

  FACELIFT 

The company formerly known as Facebook has rebranded with a new name to reflect a focus on the metaverse, whatever that means.

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3.  These CBD and CBN Gummies Will Help You Sleep Like a Log

 AD BY NEUROGAN 

CBD and CBN are well known for their ability to relieve pain and provide relaxation. Now, they can even help you get your beauty sleep.

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4.  Anti-Masker Thumps Flight Attendant in Mid-Air Rage: Witness

 LOST IT 

The passenger, who was reportedly in first or business class, allegedly punched the woman twice.

5.  Jailed Jan. 6 Rioter ‘Invented’ Medical Emergency, Feds Say

 (PROUD) BOY WHO CRIED WOLF 

Christopher Warrell’s claims of medical mistreatment by officials in a D.C. jail “have often been refuted, or at best unsubstantiated” by records, the feds said.

6.  To Put It Simply, This Is the Best Bullet Vibrator

 SMALL BUT MIGHTY 

In a sea of weak, buzzy bullets, the Tango stands alone.

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7.  CEOs Dunk on Tech Bro After ‘Loser’ Paternity Leave Tweet

 DON’T FEED THE TROLLS 

“Over ten CEOs so far today trolling me,” the PayPal co-founder reported to his followers after he made fun of anyone taking 6 months of leave to care for a newborn as a “loser.”

8.  ‘Overrated’: Brian Cox Burns Actors in True Logan Roy Style

 NOW F*CK OFF 

Cox gives scorching takes on the likes of Johnny Depp, Edward Norton, Davie Bowie, and more in his autobiography.

9.  Charlottesville Nazi Watched Tucker Carlson as Trial Prep

 SHOCKER 

Christopher Cantwell, currently representing himself, also sought legal advice from another incarcerated white supremacist who was denied a law license over his “racial activism.”

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10.  Intel Agencies’ Kabul Predictions Were All Over the Place

 FUBAR 

Assessments made by four different agencies, including the CIA, all measured Taliban takeover timelines in months and years, not weeks.

11.  Influencer Defends Photo Shoot in Front of Dad’s Open Coffin

  RIP-PED 

“Everyone handles the loss of a loved one in their own ways.”

12.  ‘RHOBH’ Star Robbed at Gunpoint in Home Invasion: Report

 ‘TRAUMATIZED’ 

The three intruders reportedly threatened to kill Dorit Kemsley in her Encino Hills home before making off with jewelry and handbags.

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13.  Florida Is Suing Biden Admin—and NASA—Over Vax Mandate

 NOT ROCKET SCIENCE 

DeSantis’ lawyers argue the federal requirement for contractors that protects people from COVID is causing “irreparable harm” to its economy.

14.  Doomsday Mom’s Attorney: Caretaker Is Manipulating Her

 JEALOUS MUCH? 

Lori Vallow’s co-counsel has accused an Idaho Dept. of Health and Welfare employee of manipulation after the clinician allegedly told her to consult Mormon lawyers.

15.  Boy Killed in Houston House of Horrors Was Autistic

 INDEFENSIBLE 

Relatives say they had no idea he had been killed and that his brothers were living with his decaying remains.

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