1.  Elderly Woman Who Was Tackled by Laughing Cops Gets $3M

 LAST LAUGH 

Karen Lovelace, who suffers from dementia, was thrown to the ground for leaving a Colorado Walmart with unpaid goods. The cops later laughed as they watched the body-cam footage.

2.  ‘Fantastical’: Black Denies Sending Model to Epstein for Sex

  SOMEONE’S ANGRY 

Guzel Ganieva made the accusation in a June court filing, alleging Black flew her to meet his “best friend.”

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3.  Kate Spade at Up to 75% Off. Can You Believe It?!

 AD BY KATE SPADE 

From shoes to dresses to handbags, the Kate Spade Surprise Sale has something for everyone.

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4.  Florida Judge Knocks Down DeSantis’ Mask Mandate Ban

 PUT THEM ON 

John Cooper’s ruling allows mask mandates to remain in place while Gov. Ron DeSantis appeals.

5.  Conversion Therapy-Touting Bishop Resigns for Erotic Author

 DIVINE JOKE 

Xavier Novell left the church after falling in love with Silvia Caballol, who writes Satanic-themed erotic novels.

6.  These Shower Steamers Wake Me Up Better Than Coffee

 SHOWER TIME 

I thought bath people had all the fun, until I found out about these.

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7.  Fists Fly, Man Cuffed, After School Board Backs Mask Mandate

 GREAT EXAMPLE 

Chaos ensued after a Missouri school board voted to reinstate a mask mandate.

8.  24-Year-Old GA College Basketball Coach Dies From COVID-19

 DEADLY TOLL 

Ryan Dupree died in a hospital Monday, two days after first testing positive for the virus.

9.  Russian Minister Dies Trying to Save Man Who Fell Off Cliff

 HELPING HAND 

Yevgeny Zinichev jumped into action when Alexander Melnik slipped and tumbled down a cliff while filming a training video.

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10.  Pro-China Troll Network ‘Tried to Organize Protest in U.S.’

 BOLD 

Cybersecurity researchers say network worked in seven languages, pressed theory that COVID started in U.S. military laboratory at Fort Detrick, and trashed Steve Bannon.

11.  Guatemalan Woman Who Created McDonald’s Happy Meal Dies

  LEGENDARY 

Yolanda Fernández de Cofiño was also responsible for the concept of birthday parties with the Golden Arches.

12.  Biden Admin Reveals Big Plans for Solar Energy

 POWER OF THE SUN 

The administration hopes nearly half of U.S. electricity will come from solar power by 2050.

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13.  Ex-New York GOP Congressional Candidate Found Dead

 TRAGIC 

Kyle Van De Water’s death is being investigated as a suicide.

14.  Bob Odenkirk Returns to Set of ‘Better Call Saul’

 ‘SO HAPPY’ 

The beloved comedian/actor suffered a heart attack while filming the show in July.

15.  Italy Evicts Bannon’s ‘Gladiator School’ From Monastery

 THUMBS DOWN 

The former Trump strategist wanted to bring far-right leaders from around the world to the monastery.

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