1.  Ex-Rittenhouse Lawyer Takes on QAnon Shaman’s Case

 NEW KID IN TOWN 

John Pierce, lawyer to more than a dozen Jan. 6 defendants, will file a motion to claim ineffective assistance of counsel by Jacob Chansley’s previous attorney.

2.  Dem Staffer Blasted for Mocking Parade Attack That Killed 5

  KARMA 

“Wisconsin put that bad energy out there. It came back real fast,” she reportedly wrote.

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3.  Full-Spectrum CBD Helps You Stay Calm This Holiday Season

 AD BY CBDMD 

Travel. Cooking. Gift getting and wrapping and shipping. The holidays can be magical but, at the same time, a LOT of stress.

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4.  Netflix Employee at Center of Chappelle Controversy Resigns

 ‘SINK OR SWIM’ 

Terra Field, a senior engineer who helped organize a company walkout over Chappelle’s special, will also be withdrawing an unfair labor practice charge made against the streamer.

5.  ‘Tiger King’ Reptile Dealer Jeff Johnson Dies by Suicide

 R.I.P. 

He reportedly killed himself after an argument with his wife, the Oklahoma City Police Department said.

6.  The Roaster Oven You Need for a Stress-Free Thanksgiving

 TURKEY TIME. 

This top-rated electric roaster oven features a self-basting lid for a foolproof turkey and it’s 40 percent off right now on Amazon.

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7.  ‘Dancing Grannies’ Were Killed in Parade Chaos, Group Says

 TOO MUCH 

Witnesses reported seeing the speeding SUV hit a group of elderly women during the parade.

8.  Embattled Kevin Spacey Ordered to Pay $31M Over Misconduct

 COUGH IT UP 

An arbitrator found Spacey did not act in a “professional manner” that was “consistent” with policies set by the “House of Cards” production company.

9.  Killer Parade Driver Looked ‘Calm and Composed’: Eyewitness

 HOLIDAY HORROR 

At least five people were killed and more than 40 injured at Sunday afternoon’s holiday parade.

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10.  Biden Says He’s Keeping Trump Pick Powell as Fed Chair

 KEEP GOING 

Lael Brainard, the Fed board’s only Democrat, will become the central bank’s vice chair.

11.  BTS Becomes 1st Asian Act to Win Artist of the Year at AMAs

  JUNGSHOOK 

BTS also made the crowd get delulu, to borrow a term from the supergroup’s fanbase, bringing audience members to their feet while performing with Coldplay.

12.  Driver Leads Cops on High-Speed Chase With 4 Kids in Truck

 NO LAZY SUNDAY 

The children in the vehicle, which hit 100 MPH, ranged in age from less than a year to 8 years old.

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13.  LeBron Ejected After Rebound Brawl Leaves Piston Bloodied

 MALICE AT THE PALACE II? 

The Pistons’ Isaiah Stewart had to be restrained multiple times after James hit him in the face during a contested rebound.

14.  Teen Hits Teacher: ‘She’s Black & F*cking Pissing Me Off’

 HORMONE MONSTER 

“I am calling my momma, you ain’t about to f*ck me up, bitch!”

15.  Recovering Queen Attends Great-Grandson’s Double Christening

 CHEERIO 

The queen was recovering from a back injury, which caused her to miss the Remembrance Sunday ceremony at the Cenotaph last week.

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