1.  Fruman Pleads Guilty to Soliciting Foreign Campaign Cash

 CHANGE OF PLEA 

Murky Trumpworld figure pleads on just one count related to soliciting U.S. campaign contributions from a foreign national after he was initially charged with 10 crimes.

2.  Kid Mocked by Adults for Sharing COVID Story Gets Last Laugh

  WHO’S THE ADULT? 

“It was complete insanity, from my perspective,” Tennessee student Grady Knox later said, after relaying story of his grandmother’s death.

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3.  Grab 2 Pairs of Adidas’ Comfy Slides for Just $40

 SLIDE INTO SAVINGS 

These slides are the gold standard of easy, comfy footwear that you’ll look forward to wearing.

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4.  DeSantis Can Punish Schools With Mask Mandates, Judge Rules

 WHIPLASH 

The ruling came just days after a judge cleared the way for schools to enact their bans.

5.  Prosecutors Say ‘Zip-Tie’ Capitol Rioter Violated Bail Terms

 NEVER LEARN 

In a court filing Thursday, prosecutors requested Eric Munchel be supervised by his brother.

6.  This Strange Device Is What I Reach for When Neck Pain Hits

 MY NECK, MY BACK... 

My neck was killing me, until I decided to give this neck pain relief device a run for its money.

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7.  Minaj’s Husband Pleads Guilty in Sex Offender Registry Case

 POUND THE ALARM 

Kenneth Petty faces up to 10 years in prison.

8.  L.A. Beach Is About to Be Returned to Original Black Owners

 BRUCE’S BEACH 

The beachfront property was the first resort for Black people on the West Coast.

9.  Students Obsessed With Columbine Allegedly Plotted Massacre

 CLOSE CALL 

“This could have turned disastrous,” Lee County Sheriff Carmine Marceno said.

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10.  Unvaxxed U.S., Israeli Travelers No Longer Welcome in France

 AU REVOIR!  

The country followed guidance from the European Union that urged a ban on unvaccinated travelers.

11.  Stoic Putin Chokes Up at Friend’s Funeral, Cries Over Coffin

  CRYIN’ PUTIN 

The Russian leader was photographed hunched over his former emergencies minister’s coffin and consoling his widow during the service.

12.  Billionaire Lists $115M Hamptons Pad Amid Frenzied Sell-Off

 SPARE SOME CHANGE? 

It really looks like Ron Perelman is short on cash.

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13.  Pennsylvania High School Football Coach Dies of COVID

 ‘OUR HEARTS BREAK’ 

Mike Gurdineer was a social studies teacher and coach for the high school’s football team.

14.  ‘Skins’ Actor Badly Injured After Being Hit by Cement Truck

 ‘LUCKY TO BE ALIVE’ 

Kathryn Prescott’s twin said she’s been denied permission to fly to New York City from England to visit her injured sister.

15.  Portland Names Bridge Ned Flanders to Honor ‘Neighborliness’

 STUPID, SEXY CROSSING 

A bronze plaque unveiled in Simpsons creator Matt Groening’s hometown depicts Homer Simpson’s neighbor/nemesis waving “Hi-Diddly-Ho, neighborinos!”

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