1.  GOP Reps Invoke ‘War’ Over Trump Indictment

 NOT AT ALL SUBTLE 

The two MAGA Republicans made striking references to war or military terminology in response to the scathing indictment against Trump.

POLITICS

2.  Trump Showed Off ‘Plan of Attack’ in Meeting: Indictment

  ‘STILL A SECRET’ 

“As president I could have declassified it,” Trump told the people at the meeting, according to the indictment. “Now I can’t, you know, but this is still a secret.”

POLITICS

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3.  Toronto Blue Jays Dump Pitcher Who Shared Anti-LGBTQ+ Video

 PAYOFF PITCH 

Bass shared the video calling Target and Bud Light’s Pride campaigns “demonic.” And now he’s off the roster.

ENTERTAINMENT

4.  ‘Fox & Friends’ Fractures Over Trump’s Newest Indictment

 ‘I BELIEVE IT!’ 

Doocy and Kilmeade sparred on Friday morning over the latest allegations against Trump.

MEDIA

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5.  Pence Bailed on Hannity Chat After Trump Indictment Broke

 NO THANKS 

A source familiar with the matter confirmed to The Daily Beast that Pence cancelling a sitdown was, in fact, not a “mutual” decision.

MEDIA

6.  Vigilantes Club Shark to Death After Attack at Beach Resort

 BRUTAL 

One man clubbed the shark, which seems to still be alive, with a metal pole as a crowd of onlookers gathered.

TRAVEL

7.  Swifties Blast Musk for ‘Napoleon Dynamite in Drag’ Tweet

 ‘SO BITTER’ 

The Twitter CEO’s since-deleted post featured a meme that said “When you realize Taylor Swift is actually Napoleon Dynamite in drag.”

ENTERTAINMENT

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8.  Joran van der Sloot Pleads Not Guilty to Federal Charges

 WE’LL SEE ABOUT THAT 

He pleaded not guilty to extortion and wire fraud charges in an Alabama courthouse on Friday after being extradited from Peru.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Carole Baskin Celebrates Federal Tiger Protection Law

  TAKE THAT, JOE 

Baskin gave members of Congress a tour of her Big Cat Rescue sanctuary, which was featured in a hit Netflix docu-series.

ENTERTAINMENT

10.  George Santos’ Family Put Up Bail Money—At Least Partially

 FAMILY TIES 

Rep. George Santos (R-NY) has been working to conceal who put up his bail. Turns out, his family was responsible for at least a part of it.

POLITICS

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11.  Oh, Great—Now We Have to Worry About Killer Cows

 MOOOOOVE 

Aggressive cattle sent one jogger to the hospital.

U.S. NEWS

12.  Shawn Mendes Roasted for Using Wildfire Smoke to Hype Single

 WHAT THE HELL INDEED 

The songwriter used a picture of New York City’s orange haze to promote “What the Hell Are We Dying For?”

ENTERTAINMENT

13.  Iran Is Helping Russia Build a Drone Factory, U.S. Says

 ‘HARMFUL TO UKRAINE’ 

U.S. intelligence officials believe the drone manufacturing plant could be operational as soon as early next year.

WORLD

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