1.  J6 Panel Can’t Find a Legit Lawyer to Accept Trump Subpoena

 CLOWN SHOW 

The committee formally voted to subpoena the former president last Thursday.

POLITICS

2.  ‘Read It, Man’: Biden Gives a Sassy Response on Abortion

  EDUCATE YOURSELF 

A reporter asked the president if he supports “any restrictions on abortion at all.”

POLITICS

These Running Pants Are Perfect for Navigating Rainy Days

  RUN AWAY 

These pants are the only ones I wear these days.

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3.  Prisoner Executed in Oklahoma for Murder of His Baby Girl

 HORRIFIC 

Benjamin Cole had sued the state for its corporal punishment policies.

U.S. NEWS

4.  News Anchor Benched for Calling U.K. Lawmaker a ‘C**t’

 HOT MIC 

Channel 4 News anchor Krishnan Guru-Murthy has been taken off air for a week, the network said.

WORLD

Ask for Directions Abroad Like a Pro With This Language App

 HABLA ESPAÑOL? 

Babbel is one of the most convenient and effective ways to learn a new language from anywhere.

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5.  Andy Dick Accused of Stealing Power Tools From a Garage

 FALL FROM GRACE 

The arrest marks the second time in six months that the comedian has gotten jail time.

ENTERTAINMENT

6.  Anonymous Sender Dumps Pages of Secret Kelly Loeffler Texts

 ‘RARE PEEK’ 

The texts were sent after the 2020 election and concern the former Republican senator.

POLITICS

7.  Kevin Durant Now Owns a Major League Pickleball Team

 THAT’S A THING? 

Durant joins Tom Brady and Lebron James, along with other star athletes, in investing in the newly founded league.

ENTERTAINMENT

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8.  Black-Clad Man With Sword on the Run After NYC Subway Attack

 WTF 

One witness told ABC7 that the suspect whipped out the sword in “cinematic” fashion before “some sort of combat” took place on the subway car.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Dr. Oz Couldn’t Resist Temptation of PACs Despite His Vow

  OOP$ 

Fundraising reports reveal the TV doc has taken $23,500 from eight corporate PACs.

POLITICS

10.  House Republicans Want a National ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Bill

 HORRIFYING 

The bill is almost certain not to pass in the current Democrat-controlled House but signifies a step Republicans may pursue if they take back the House.

POLITICS

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11.  100s of Antiquities Tied to ‘Prolific Looter’ Returned Home

 SUBHASH KAPOOR 

The antiquities were valued at almost $4 million.

ARTS AND CULTURE

12.  Putin Adviser Throws Kremlin Under the Bus in Live Interview

 WHOOPS 

It’s hard to keep the lies straight when there are so many.

WORLD

13.  Boris Johnson Expected to Stand in U.K. Leadership Race

 SECOND COMING? 

If he wins, it would mean he succeeded his own successor as prime minister.

WORLD

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