1. Kremlin Agents ‘Called U.K. Ministers With Fake PM’

IS BORIS THERE?

Downing Street says Cabinet ministers, including Britain’s defense secretary, spent eight or nine minutes on a call with someone pretending to be the Ukraine PM.

WORLD

2. Fentanyl Released Through Vents at Ohio Juvenile Center

GASSED

Four corrections officers and three juvenile detainees taken to hospital after fentanyl gas released through air vents.

U.S. NEWS

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3. Cook a Savory Dinner in Around 30 Minutes With This Meal Kit

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Green Chef’s diverse meals can satisfy even the pickiest eaters.

SCOUTED

4. Ukraine Rejects Russian Ultimatum to Surrender Mariupol

GO F*CK YOURSELVES

Russian forces said that in exchange for a complete laying down of arms, civilians would be guaranteed safe passage out.

WORLD

5. No Charges for Rescuer Who Fatally Shot Drowning Man

STRANGER THAN FICTION

A man on a pontoon boat who helped rescue two jet skiers in distress acted in self-defense, South Carolina prosecutors said.

U.S. NEWS

6. I Got the Best Legs Ever After I Stopped Going to the Gym

ASS-PIRATIONAL

The DB Method is great for any age or fitness level and can get you started on an exercise program in as little as 10 minutes a day, incorporating cardio with strength training.

SCOUTED

7. AP Journalists Tell of Rescue From Ruins of Mariupol

‘HIT LIST’

The last two international journalists in Mariupol described how the Ukrainian army made them leave the ruined city before they became pawns in Putin’s propaganda.

WORLD

8. AstraZeneca Says New Drug Works Against Omicron Subvariants

GOOD NEWS

New pharmaceutical also works against super-infections Omicron variants, according to a U.S. study.

WORLD

9. Ex-Disney CEO Ignored Successor at ‘Extremely Awkward’ Party

WAR OF THE BOBS

After Bob Iger said he would stick around to help Bob Chapek guide the company through the pandemic, the tension got “palpable.”

U.S. NEWS

10. Biden to Visit Poland to Discuss Ukraine Invasion Response

SAY CZEŚĆ!

Poland flanks Ukraine’s western edge and has been inundated with up to 50,000 terrified refugees every day.

WORLD

11. Bone-Weary Chernobyl Workers Finally Allowed to Clock Off

RUNNING ON EMPTY

Management said 50 staff members unlucky enough to be on the job when Russian forces seized the plant had finally been rotated out.

WORLD

12. Shady New Deets on How Project Veritas Got Biden Kid’s Diary

STICKY FINGERS

The diary was passed around a Trump fundraiser in 2020, held at the Florida home of a donor who was later nominated by the then-president to an executive branch post.

POLITICS

13. Psychedelic Toad Venom Boom Threatens Species’ Survival

SMOKING KILLS

The venom has been touted by such luminaries as Mike Tyson and Hunter Biden.

SCIENCE

14. Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi’s Funeral Draws Up to 750K Mourners

MAY HIS MEMORY BE A BLESSING

The estimated crowd size still fell short of the attendance at a 2013 funeral for another ultra-Orthodox Jewish leader.

WORLD

15. Kenneth Branagh Skips Awards Show Over Positive COVID Test

‘HERE IN SPIRIT’

Jude Hill, the 11-year-old star of Branagh’s “Belfast,” confirmed the news.

ENTERTAINMENT

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