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1. Kristi Noem Hounded Over Her Book’s Claim About Nikki Haley

  ‘JUST PLAIN WEIRD’ 

Haley’s spokesperson flat-out denied Noem’s tale.

POLITICS

2. Psaki: Biden Speechless at Gold Star Families’ Criticisms

 SILENCED 

The president was allegedly stunned to hear they felt he’d spoken too much about his late son, Beau.

POLITICS

These CBN Gummies Are Formulated to Help You *Stay* Asleep

 “TOMORROW STARTS TONIGHT” 

According to a recent study, when CBN is taken without CBD, it may help you sleep through the night and experience fewer disturbances.

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3. Ex-Kentucky Guv Barred From Estranged Wife’s Home

 ‘AGGRESSIVE’ 

She claimed he overstayed his welcome and followed her around, asking questions about their divorce case.

POLITICS

4. TikTok Star Who Documented Cancer Battle Dies at 26

 ‘PEACEFULLY’ 

One of her “bucket list” items was to meet Gordon Ramsay, which prompted the celebrity chef to bring her to the opening of his Miami restaurant earlier this year.

U.S. NEWS

Cleanse and Firm Like Royalty With PMD’s 24K Facial Wand

 GOLD RUSH 

The next-level cleansing wand and facial massager harnesses sonic and heat therapy modalities for a deeper cleanse with added anti-aging benefits.

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5. Noem’s Alleged Meeting With Kim Jong Un in Doubt: Report

 ‘DUBIOUS’ 

The South Dakota governor also claimed in her upcoming book that she had a planned meeting with Emmanuel Macron, whose office denied sending a formal invitation.

POLITICS

6. Trump, Recently Obsessed With RFK Jr., Scoffs at Debate

 SPOILER ALERT 

“He is not a serious candidate.”

POLITICS

7. Nurse Who Killed With Insulin Avoids Lethal Injection

 GUILTY AS HELL 

Heather Pressdee pleaded guilty to murder and was sentenced to life in prison before victims’ angry families.

U.S. NEWS

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8. Top RFK Jr. Operative Allegedly Choked Woman in NYC: Report

 SPIRALING 

The incident comes on the same day Donald Trump announced he wouldn’t debate the presidential hopeful because he’s “not a serious candidate.”

POLITICS

9. Orangutan Seen in Historic First for Wild Animal

 AMAZING 

The animal was seen applying a medicinal herb to an injury to his face and within a few days, the wound had closed.

INNOVATION

10. New Report Finds Movies Now Have 40% Less Sex

 GOING DOWN 

Hot and heavy is falling out of fashion.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11. Police Reject Penn’s Request to Clear Encampment

 PROVE IT 

Police increased their presence on Penn’s campus on Thursday, but politely declined to escalate the situation, even at the university’s urging.

U.S. NEWS

12. Musk’s Starlink Keeps Providing Internet in Unlicensed Areas

 FIVE-STAR SERVICE 

Customers were told their illegal internet would be shut off on May 1. The next day many were still able to use it.

WORLD

13. John Cleese Moans About Being Forced to Cut N-Word From Show

 NO SENSE OF ‘IRONY’ 

The “Monty Python” comedian lobbed shots at audience intellect when explaining why he dropped the racist slur from a stage revival of “Fawlty Towers.”

ENTERTAINMENT

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