1. Officials ‘Warned of Mass-Casualty Event’ Days Before Jan. 6

  FLASHING RED 

Politico reports that threats to the U.S. Capitol building were specifically discussed during a call.

2. Fox Guest Calls Biden ‘Rotting Bag of Oatmeal’ After Speech

 LOST IT 

The hours after Biden’s speech were full of incandescent fury on Fox News.

The facts of the matter. 24/7.

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3. Grab 2 Pairs of Adidas’ Comfy Slides for Just $40

 SLIDE INTO SAVINGS 

These slides are the gold standard of easy, comfy footwear that you’ll look forward to wearing.

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4. Portland Names Bridge Ned Flanders to Honor ‘Neighborliness’

 STUPID, SEXY CROSSING 

A bronze plaque unveiled in Simpsons creator Matt Groening’s hometown depicts Homer Simpson’s neighbor/nemesis waving “Hi-Diddly-Ho, neighborinos!”

5. Kid Mocked by Adults for Sharing COVID Story Gets Last Laugh

 WHO’S THE ADULT? 

“It was complete insanity, from my perspective,” Tennessee student Grady Knox later said, after relaying story of his grandmother’s death.

6. This Strange Device Is What I Reach for When Neck Pain Hits

 MY NECK, MY BACK... 

My neck was killing me, until I decided to give this neck pain relief device a run for its money.

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7. ‘Skins’ Actor Badly Injured After Being Hit by Cement Truck

 ‘LUCKY TO BE ALIVE’ 

Kathryn Prescott’s twin said she’s been denied permission to fly to New York City from England to visit her injured sister.

8. Pennsylvania High School Football Coach Dies of COVID

 ‘OUR HEARTS BREAK’ 

Mike Gurdineer was a social studies teacher and coach for the high school’s football team.

9. Breyer: Dems Shouldn’t Remake Court to Get Back at Trump

 CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR 

The Supreme Court justice told NPR: “What goes around comes around. And if the Democrats can do it, the Republicans can do it.”

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10. Lee Statue Capsule ‘Containing Lincoln Death Pic’ Not Found

 ‘MYSTERY WILL CONTINUE’ 

The time capsule was slipped under the statue before it was erected in 1890.

11. Queen Elizabeth Is a Black Lives Matter Supporter: Top Aide

 STAN A WOKE QUEEN 

Harry and Meghan accused unnamed members of the royal family of racism earlier this year.

12. Phenoms Fernandez, Raducanu Set for All-Teen U.S. Open Final

 GLORY AWAITS 

In two more shocking upsets—although, at this point, perhaps not so shocking—the Canadian and Briton each made it through the semifinal.

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13. Harvard Will Stop Investing in Fossil Fuels

 GO CRIMSON 

Harvard’s president said that the school has no direct investments in the fossil fuel industry, and that indirect investments “are in runoff mode and will end.”

14. Plane Passengers Could Be Fined $3,000 for Not Wearing Masks

 FIGHT OR FLIGHT 

Passengers who repeatedly ignore federal mask mandates for air travel could be fined anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000 starting Friday.

15. NYC Drug Operation Hired Teens to Sell Heroin: Prosecutors

 ‘MAIN EVENT’ 

The operation’s ringleaders were “prolifically selling 24 hours a day” by using 16- and 17-year-olds as street-level dealers, according to prosecutors.

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