1.  Pentagon Issues Dire Warning on ‘Havana Syndrome’

 GTFO 

“The physical effects we’ve seen in several cases are very, very real,” said a senior administration official.

2.  Katie Couric ‘Humiliated’ Banfield at 2000 Olympics

  ‘EWW, AWKWARD’ 

‘Catty Couric’ strikes again, as the veteran journalist reportedly unleashed her mean girl side on colleague Ashley Banfield during a “disgraceful” incident at the Sydney Olympics.

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3.  Here’s How You Can Score $100+ of Natural Cosmetics for Free

 AD BY 100% PURE 

100% Pure’s skincare and makeup will have you looking and feeling good.

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4.  3-Year-Old Boy, Parents Found Dead at Mexico Airbnb

 FAMILY TRAGEDY 

Jayden, Jose, and Maria Nunez reportedly died due to a gas leak while on vacation.

5.  Gaetz Pal Wants Another Sentencing Delay While Cooperating

 ‘ADDITIONAL PROFFERS’ 

Joel Greenberg’s attorney Fritz Scheller said the delay was necessary because his cooperation with investigators “cannot be completed prior to the time of his sentencing.”

6.  Amazon ‘Epic Daily Deals’: Airpod Pros Are 30% Off

 HEAR BETTER 

Airpods can make any commute, office, or walk down the street a better experience. Grab a pair while they’re on sale during Amazon’s Epic Daily Deals.

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7.  Bare-Knuckle Fighter Dies Weeks After 19-Second Knockout

 ‘DEEPEST CONDOLENCES’ 

The 38-year-old had been battling injuries incurred over a month ago, during an Aug. 20 fight.

8.  Boris Johnson: Making Misogyny a Hate Crime Would Swamp Cops

 UMM... 

“I think, to be perfectly frank, if you simply widen the scope of what you ask the police to do you’ll just increase the problem,” he said.

9.  Trump Tumbles Off Forbes Rich List as COVID Slashes Fortune

 TINY VIOLIN 

The magazine wrote: “If Trump is looking for someone to blame, he can start with himself.”

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10.  Police Arrest Man From ‘Suspicious Vehicle’ at Supreme Court

 ALARMING 

The only thing the man said was that the “time for talking is done.”

11.  Brian Laundrie’s Sis Urges Parents to ‘Come Clean’

  CUT OFF 

In an interview with “Good Morning America,” she says she doesn’t know if her parents are “involved” in her brother’s escape.

12.  TX Employees Fired After Asking Students About Vax Status

 ‘NO DISCUSSION’ 

The two college employees said they weren’t given a reason for their termination, but said you “didn’t have to be a super-detective” to figure it out.

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13.  Ozy Media Hit With Lawsuit Alleging ‘Illegal Conduct’

 BAMBOOZLED? 

LifeLine Legacy Holdings claims it “would never have invested in Ozy Media” if it knew about the company’s business practices.

14.  Climate Science Trailblazers Win 2021 Nobel Prize in Physics

 ‘GROUNDBREAKING’ 

The Nobel Committee said the trio worked out how to reliably predict global warming.

15.  Russian Actress Blasts Off for International Space Station

 ONWARD 

The launch is part of a 12-day mission to shoot a film titled “The Challenge” aboard the International Space Station.

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