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1. Raccoon Dogs Likely Started COVID Pandemic, Analysis Shows

  LAB LEAK WHO? 

Researchers say they have found genetic evidence from samples taken at a Chinese market linking the disease with wild animals.

INNOVATION

2. Trump Flips Out at DeSantis’ Payments to Satirical News Site

 ‘NON-ENTITY’ 

“You don’t spend that much money on The Babylon Bee if you’re running for Governor, in fact, you don’t spend money on The Babylon Bee if you’re running for anything!”

POLITICS

This Drink Lets You Sleep Like a Pro Athlete

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3. Suspected Monastery Massacre in Myanmar Leaves 22+ Dead

 HORRENDOUS 

Three Buddhist monks were among the dead, according to a report.

WORLD

4. Massachusetts Upholds Right to Be Rude at Public Meetings

 IMPOLITE SOCIETY 

The state’s Supreme Judicial Court struck down a town’s unconstitutional “civility code.”

U.S. NEWS

Run—Don’t Walk—to Everlane’s Huge Virtual Sale Rack Now

 RUN DON’T WALK 

These Everlane steals are very real.

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5. Cure Frontman Makes Ticketmaster Refund Furious Fans

 FRIDAY I’M IN LOVE 

Robert Smith had promised to take action after seeing the site’s “unduly high” costs for the band’s U.S. tour.

ENTERTAINMENT

6. Two Arrested in Hong Kong Over ‘Seditious’ Children’s Books

 ‘SHAMEFUL’ 

The stories about sheep and wolves have previously led to prison sentences.

WORLD

7. Silicon Valley Bank’s Owner Files for Bankruptcy Protection

 ALL OVER 

It’s the biggest bankruptcy filing relating to a collapsed bank since 2008.

U.S. NEWS

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8. Rolls-Royce to Build Moon Base Nuclear Reactor

 OUT OF THIS WORLD 

It’s hoped that the power source will allow astronauts to spend longer stints on the lunar surface.

INNOVATION

9. George Santos Thinks the ‘Truth Still Matters Very Much’

 SHAMELESS 

“It’s a hard job,” the truth-challenged congressman said. “If I said it was easy, I’d be lying to you.”

POLITICS

10. Russia Trolls U.S. With Awards for Pilots Who Downed Drone

 SORRY NOT SORRY 

But Moscow’s Defense Ministry still insists its aircraft never collided with the unmanned vehicle.

WORLD

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11. Countries Who ‘Mistreated Ukraine’ Will Pay, Minister Says

 WON’T FORGET 

“War is a time when you have to make a choice. And every choice has been recorded.”

WORLD

12. Saga of Kylie Jenner’s Baby Name Change Continues

 WHEN WILL IT END? 

A year ago, the couple announced they were getting rid of their newborn boy’s original name.

ENTERTAINMENT

13. Sheriff, Deputies in ‘Gang’ Charged Over Alleged Kidnapping

 CAUGHT OUT 

Iron County Sheriff Jeffery Burket faces eight counts including attempted kidnapping and participating knowingly in criminal street gang activities.

U.S. NEWS

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