1.  Santos to Be Rewarded for His Lies With Committee Spots

 BECAUSE OF COURSE 

“He’ll get seated on committees,” McCarthy said Tuesday.

POLITICS

2.  Booted GOP Reps. Gosar, MTG Snag New Committee Assignments

  BACK AGAIN 

Gosar was given a seat on the House Committee on Natural Resources, while Greene now has a seat on the House Homeland Security Committee.

POLITICS

This Weight-Loss App Does Much More Than Track Calories

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3.  Victoria Gotti’s Long Island Mansion Goes to the Bank

 LA CASA NOSTRE 

It had a starring role on “Growing Up Gotti.”

ENTERTAINMENT

4.  CNET’s Article-Writing Bot Is Making Huge Factual Errors

 WHOOPS 

The robot revolution isn’t quite ready yet.

INNOVATION

This Butt-Enhancing Squat Machine Is 20% Off Right Now

 ASS-PIRATIONAL 

The DB Method is great for any age or fitness level and can get you started on an exercise program in as little as 10 minutes a day—and it’s on major sale right now.

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5.  Cardi B Blows Deadline for Community Service in Assault Case

 NOT OKURRR 

But the judge is giving her until March 1 to fulfill the requirements of her plea deal.

ENTERTAINMENT

6.  Todd and Julie Chrisley Are Officially Behind Bars

 REALITY BITES 

The disgraced reality TV couple have begun their combined 19-year federal prison sentence for tax evasion and fraud.

ENTERTAINMENT

7.  Greta Thunberg Released After Arrest for Anti-Coal Protest

 UNFAZED 

The climate activist joined thousands of protestors in a small German village.

WORLD

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8.  Second Colorado Library Closes Over Meth Contamination

 WEIRD 

Drug use is uncommon at the library, though reports have gone up during the winter months, according to the facility’s director.

U.S. NEWS

9.  Gang Member Divulges Details on Infamous Dresden Jewel Theft

  PRICELESS 

Rabieh Remmo said that his accomplice used a fire extinguisher to eliminate their DNA evidence at the scene.

ARTS AND CULTURE

10.  Kanye’s Legal Team Looking to Dump Him Via Newspaper Ads

 READ ALL ABOUT IT 

The law firm says they haven’t been able to contact West since his phone number was deactivated.

ENTERTAINMENT

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11.  LAPD Zeroing in on Mole Who Recorded Racist Council Meeting

 WHODUNIT 

The audio of several city council members making racist comments leaked last fall, leading to two resignations.

POLITICS

12.  11-Year-Old’s Scalp Ripped Off in Horrific Pit Bull Mauling

 ‘I LOVE Y’ALL’ 

Justin Gilstrap is recovering and in good spirits after undergoing several surgeries.

U.S. NEWS

13.  Russian Serial Killer Pitches His Services for Ukraine War

 ‘IN DEMAND’ 

Mikhail Popkov is currently behind bars for killing 80 people but promises he’s a quick learner.

WORLD

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