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1. SBF’s Leaked Congressional Testimony Is a Whiny Blame-Fest

  CRY ME A RIVER 

Forbes obtained a copy of the testimony the fallen crypto king would have given to Congress on Tuesday... if he wasn’t arrested the night before.

U.S. NEWS

2. Synagogue Shooter Takes Prison Guards Hostage in Escape Bid

 SHOCKING 

The convicted far-right murderer used a “device” to force the guards to remove him from his cell, authorities said.

WORLD

I Put the TikTok-Viral Pheromone Perfume to the Test

 SNIFF ME 

TikTok is enamored with this sex-appeal-boosting pheromone perfume that allegedly helps attract the opposite sex—but does it actually work?

The truth is a Beast. Are you? 

Get unlimited access to the Beast's fearless reporting. 

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3. Russian Art Gallery Skimps on Tickets: ‘There’s No Paper’

 SIGN OF THE TIMES 

Visitors reported a major downgrade from the ornate tickets the museum used to give out.

WORLD

4. Samantha Bee Announces First Big Project Since Cancellation

 DO IT LIVE 

The former “Daily Show” correspondent and late-night host has big plans for 2023.

ENTERTAINMENT

This Wine Purifier Removes Hangover-Inducing Histamines

 WINE-O-MATIC 

Its filter will hold onto sulfites and sediment, leaving the best part for you.

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5. New Zealand Bans Cigarettes for Future Generations

 SMOKEFREE 

The legislation is among the strictest in the world.

WORLD

6. Burlington Wants Monsanto to Replace ‘Contaminated’ School

 PONY UP 

The Vermont school district says it will cost more than $190 million to tear down the old school and build a new one.

U.S. NEWS

7. Notorious Mountain Lion Captured in LA After Killing Pet Dog

 COLLARED 

The big cat was found in a Los Feliz backyard and tranquilized by wildlife officers.

U.S. NEWS

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8. United Airlines Splashes Out $30B for 100 Boeing Dreamliners

 UPGRADE 

The airline said it’s the largest purchase in history by a U.S. carrier of wide-body jets.

TRAVEL

9. Phoenix Cop Accused of Making Porn While on Duty

 UNDERCOVER OPERATION 

Christian Goggans was allegedly performing under the name “Rico Blaze.”

U.S. NEWS

10. Search Team Finds Wreck of Ship Supposedly Packed With Gold

 BURIED TREASURE 

The long-lost steamer, which sank in 1875, has been sought by treasure hunters for decades.

WORLD

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11. Emily Blunt: Chill Out About Tom Cruise’s ‘P*ssy’ Comment

 ‘OUT OF CONTEXT’ 

“It’s ludicrous that it’s being spun as something that offended me,” Blunt said.

MEDIA

12. Son Offers $25 Million to Solve Parents’ Murder Mystery

 ‘FOREVER HAUNTED’ 

As the five-year anniversary of the death approached, Jonathon Sherman offered a whopping amount of money to the person who can help catch his parents’ killer.

WORLD

13. New Zealand PM Caught Calling Rival an ‘Arrogant Pr*ck’

 HOT MIC 

She was seemingly unaware that the microphone in front of her picked up the comment.

WORLD

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