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1. Suspected Trump Gunman Was Rejected by Ukrainian Army

 NO THANKS 

Ryan Wesley Routh posted extensively about his support for Kyiv on social media.

WORLD

2. Taylor Swift’s Nemesis Lends Her Support After Trump Snub

 BROKEN CLOCK 

The singer and the music powerhouse’s beef goes way back.

ENTERTAINMENT

Lebron James Calls This Home Fitness Device ‘Second to None’

 HEAVY LIFTING 

This smart, space-saving fitness device allows you to reach your goals fast thanks to dynamic weight modes and instant incremental resistance changes.

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3. Suspected Trump Golf Club Gunman Did NYT Interview Last Year

 EXPOSITORY DIALOGUE 

Few details have been released about Ryan Wesley Routh, who allegedly carried an AK-47-style rifle and scope onto the grounds near Trump’s West Palm Beach golf club.

POLITICS

4. Son of Suspected Trump Golf Course Gunman Defends His Dad

 ‘NOTHING LIKE HIM’ 

“Ryan is my father and I don’t have any comment beyond a character profile of him as a loving and caring father and an honest, hardworking man,” Oren Routh told CNN.

U.S. NEWS

Nurses Swear By This Aluminum-Free Full-Body Deodorant Spray

 BODY ODOR, BEGONE 

Finally, a clean deodorant that actually works.

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5. Hannity Reveals How Trump Reacted to Golf Course Shooting

 ‘HAD A BIRDIE PUTT’ 

The former president allegedly joked about the shooting ruining his golf match, according to the longtime Fox host.

MEDIA

6. Ben Affleck and J.Lo Reunite for Affectionate Lunch Date

 MAKING AMENDS? 

Prior to this meeting, Jennifer Lopez filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on their second wedding anniversary back in August.

ENTERTAINMENT

7. Zoo Director Threatens Lawsuits After Mistreatment of Hippo

 LEAVE MOO DENG ALONE! 

Moo Deng is a two-month-old pygmy hippo and internet darling.

WORLD

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8. Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine Debunks Racist Pet-Eating Conspiracies

 ‘GARBAGE’ 

Despite city officials vehemently denying evidence of any such crimes, false narratives about pet poaching in Springfield, Ohio are proliferating among MAGA activists.

POLITICS

9. Lawmakers Want Trump Protected After Second Assassin Plot

 STEP IT UP 

Officials and legislators from both sides of the aisle are demanding that the former president be afforded better protective resources after the latest attempt on his life.

POLITICS

10. Ex-Reagan Officials Reveal Who He Would Support in 2024

 GOP AVENGERS 

Hundreds of ex-GOP backers have endorsed the vice president.

POLITICS

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11. Disgruntled Staffers Call Meghan a ‘Dictator in High Heels’

 ‘DUCHESS DIFFICULT’ 

Meghan’s alleged abrasive management style is back in the frame.

ARTS AND CULTURE

12. Trump Vows Mass Deportations of Haitians in Springfield

 DOGGONIT 

The former president made the promise despite the majority of the 15,000 Haitian immigrants in the city being in the U.S. legally.

POLITICS

13. Jane’s Addiction Nixes Show After Onstage Concert Brawl

 APOLOGY TOUR 

During the rock group’s Friday show in Boston, two bandmates threw some mid-performance punches.

ENTERTAINMENT

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