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1. Trump Rewards Convicted Loyalist Peter Navarro With Administration Role
PRISON TO WHITE HOUSE
The former White House aide spent four months in prison for refusing to comply with a Congressional subpoena about Jan. 6.
POLITICS
2. William and Harry Can’t Even Be in the Same Room Virtually
WORLDS APART
The once close brothers tie themselves in knots to avoid coming face-to-face at awards ceremony in honor of their mother.
CULTURE
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3. Satanic Temple to Offer Religious Program for Public Elementary Students
SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE
A parent personally requested they offer their program as an alternative to one already implemented by the school.
U.S. NEWS
4. ‘Frasier’ Star to Release Memoir About His Sister’s Murder
FAMILY MATTERS
Kelsey Grammer has suffered through a number of family tragedies including the murders of his father and his sister, as well as the deaths of his half brothers in a scuba diving incident.
The Best Gifts for Stubborn Giftees Who Swear They ‘Don’t Want Anything’
GIFT GUIDE 2024
We all know someone who, year after year, stubbornly swears they don’t want a gift, but no one feels comfortable *actually* showing up empty-handed.
5. Trump Selects Space Traveler to Head NASA
ROCKETMAN
Jared Isaacman currently serves as the CEO of the payments-technology company Shift4 Payments.
6. Anna Wintour Reveals the Secret Behind Her Dark Glasses
THE DEVIL WEARS...
“They help me see and they help me not see,” the Vogue boss said of her trademark accessory. “They help me be seen and not be seen. They are a prop, I would say.”
7. Putin’s Relative Shares Classified Figures on MIA Soldiers in Ukraine
TOP SECRET
The government has apparently received some 48,000 requests to DNA test unidentified remains.
WORLD
8. ‘Wicked’ Movie Banned in Kuwait, Likely Over LGBTQ Cast
CENSORED
Variety confirmed the film will not play in the middle eastern country, as local media speculates about why the decision was made.
MEDIA
9. Trump Is Getting a Special ‘Patriot of the Year’ Award From Fox Nation Streaming Platform
NOBEL SCHMOBEL
The president-elect said he’s looking “greatly forward” to attending the prize ceremony.
10. Aaron Rodgers Gives Glimpse of Ayahuasca Trips and Bonkers Alternative Treatments
SELF CARE
Rogers said once he began his spiritual journey, “everything shifted.”
11. Hong Kong Airline Apologizes for Showing Tiananmen Square ‘Family Guy’ Scene
OOPS
Cathay Pacific says it will have the episode removed from its entertainment menu ASAP.
12. Vatican Boots Texas Nuns After Reverend Mother’s Alleged Affair With Priest
THOU SHALT NOT
An order from the Vatican declared the Texas monastery ‘extinct.’
13. Missing Grandmother Looking for Her Cat Believed to Have Fallen in Sinkhole
SEARCH AND RESCUE MISSION
Elizabeth Pollard was reported missing by a family member on Tuesday.
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