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1. Trump’s Truth Social Has Lost $73 Million Since Launch

  YUGE 

It’s taken just two years to burn through the eight-figure amount.

MEDIA

2. John Oliver’s Backing of Puking Mullet Bird Derails Contest

 QUACK UP 

Organizers of the annual ballot have been forced to delay the result.

WORLD

Breaking: Allbirds’ Black Friday Sale Is Already Live

 BLACK FRIDAY 2023 

Take up to 50 percent off select men and women’s shoes.

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3. Florida Law Prof’s Mother-in-Law Now Arrested in His Murder

 DOMINO EFFECT 

Donna Adelson was heading to Vietnam on a one-way plane ticket. Her son, Charlie, was convicted of the murder last week.

U.S. NEWS

4. House Slaps Down MTG’s Bid to Impeach DHS Secretary Mayorkas

 STALLED 

A Homeland Security spokesperson said Mayorkas had been targeted by a “baseless attack.”

POLITICS

This Calorie-Burning Sauna Blanket Is 20% Off Right Now

 STRESS LESS 

HigherDOSE’s infrared sauna blanket helps detox the body and gives you a natural post-workout high without having to even move your body.

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5. 22+ Toddlers Poisoned by Lead Linked to Applesauce Pouches

 HEAVY METAL 

Kids in 14 states became sick.

U.S. NEWS

6. ‘Woman With the Flower Tattoo’ Victim ID’d After 30 Years

 CLOSURE 

Rita Roberts’ family last heard from her via a postcard the month before her death.

WORLD

7. Israeli Lawmakers Call for the West to Take in Gaza Refugees

 ‘RELOCATION’ 

“Even if countries took in as few as 10,000 people each, it would help alleviate the crisis.”

WORLD

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8. Chris Cuomo Admits He ‘Covered’ for His Brother Andrew

 ‘OF COURSE’ 

He made the admission during an especially chaotic interview with Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy.

MEDIA

9. Biden Privately Refers to David Axelrod as a ‘Prick’: Report

 LETTING LOOSE 

Axelrod has suggested that Biden, at age 80, may be too old to win a second term.

POLITICS

10. Giuliani’s Ukrainian Ally Charged With Russia-Linked Treason

 ‘ABSOLUTE LIES’ 

Oleksandr Dubinsky was one of seven Ukrainians placed on a U.S. sanctions list for alleged interference in the 2020 presidential election.

WORLD

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11. Hiker Missing Since August Found Dead—With His Dog Alive

 INCREDIBLE 

A hunter spotted the remains of Rich Moore and his loyal Jack Russell, Finney.

U.S. NEWS

12. Iceland Warns of ‘Significant’ Chance of Volcano Eruption

 KABOOM SOON? 

Thousands of earthquakes, many of them reported along a 9-mile magma tunnel just beneath the evacuated town of Grindavik, have continued to shake the region.

WORLD

13. Pink Will Give Away Banned Books on Florida Leg of Tour

 READ HER LIPS 

The superstar has teamed up with PEN America in a state that ranks No. 1 for banning books.

ENTERTAINMENT

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