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1. Trump Struggled To Find Albuquerque Rally Venue After Stiffing the City $400k

 PAY YOUR BILLS 

His campaign still owes almost $445,000 from a similar event in 2019.

POLITICS

2. YouTube Allowed and Profited Off Election Denialism: Report

 CONSPIRACY $$$ 

From May to August, the top 30 right-wing pundits garnered more than 47 million views with 286 videos containing election misinformation.

POLITICS

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3. London Cops Sniff Out $390,000 Artisanal Cheddar Cheese Thieves

 GRATE NEWS 

Police say they have made an arrest.

WORLD

4. Radiohead’s Thom Yorke Storms Off Stage After Gaza Heckling

 BENT OUT OF SHAPE 

The star departed to astonished boos from the crowd.

OBSESSED

Knix Just Launched the First Fully-Customizable Shapewear Line

 SHAPIN’ UP TO BE GREAT 

The new PerfectCut collection is designed to fit and flatter any body and expand your existing wardrobe.

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5. District Attorney Taking on Musk’s Election Antics Hit With Antisemitic Abuse

 ‘CORRUPT GOONS’ 

Larry Krasner has sued to block the billionaire’s $1 million daily giveaways to swing-state voters.

POLITICS

6. Stormy Daniels Will Be Honored by Salem’s Witches This Halloween

 ENCHANTED 

She’s endured a modern witch hunt of her own.

POLITICS

7. ‘Tiger King’ Joe Exotic Announces Prison Engagement: ‘So Amazing’

 JAILBIRDS & LOVEBIRDS 

The true crime doc star and convicted felon said he needs to convince Donald Trump to give asylum to his new beau, who is from Mexico.

U.S. NEWS

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8. Seth Meyers: Even Joe Rogan Isn’t Buying Trump’s ‘Nonsense’

 HE’S GOT NOTHING 

Meyers mocked Trump’s total inability to back up his election interference claims in his interview with Joe Rogan.

MEDIA

9. Watch Trump Get Defeated by Trash Truck’s Door

 FIRMLY GRASP IT 

Trump eventually managed to climb inside the garbage truck for a photo op.

POLITICS

10. Washington Post Opinion Editor Takes Bezos to Town in Leaked Meeting Audio

 MELTDOWN 

“What I really do want to impart is that you do not get stuck in the middle. Don’t be here if you don’t want to,” editorial page editor David Shipley said.

MEDIA

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11. Women Booted From British Airways Plane After MAGA Hat Brawl

 CODE RED 

“Airline crew could not run the risk of a full scale punch-up at 30,000ft,” an airport source said.

12. Cake From Queen Elizabeth’s Wedding Set to Be Auctioned

 ‘TIME CAPSULE PIECE' 

A 77-year-old piece of Queen Elizabeth’s wedding cake will be auctioned off for at least £500.

CULTURE

13. Trump Rage-Posts Through Night After Harris’ Massive D.C. Rally

 ‘WHERE ARE THE JOBS?’ 

Trump blasted Kamala Harris’ speech before turning his ire on Pennsylvania.

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