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1. U.K. Says Trigger-Happy Putin Undermining Army Commanders

  BOTH BARRELS 

Officials at all levels are “increasingly distracted by efforts to avoid personal culpability for Russia’s operational set-backs.”

WORLD

2. W. Rips ‘Brutal Invasion of Iraq—I Mean of Ukraine’

 HECKUVA JOB 

With one verbal flub, Dubya finally—albeit unwittingly—admitted what many have long known to be true about the war he oversaw.

POLITICS

These Sex Toys Might Be Your Stress-Busting Secret Weapons

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These sex toys use cutting-edge suction and vibration to produce nearly universal results.

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3. Putin Critic Detained—on U.S.-Mexico Border

 IN FROM THE COLD 

Viktor Kamenshchikov stopped turning up to city council meetings in Vladivostok after speaking out against the invasion of Ukraine. Then he turned up on the U.S. southern border.

WORLD

4. 911 Dispatcher Could Be Fired Over Buffalo Shooting Hang-Up

 WHY YOU WHISPERING? 

Dispatcher accused of hanging up on caller from Tops supermarket because she was whispering.

U.S. NEWS

Sorry, Peloton—This Under-the-Desk Bike Is a Life Changer

 EXERCISE, FOR LAZY PEOPLE 

This under-desk bike is easy to store, easy to ride, and easy to forget that I’m using it.

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5. Netflix to Air Docuseries on Harry and Meghan’s Life: Report

 ROYAL REALITY TV 

Page Six describes the series as an “at-home with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex-style” show.

ENTERTAINMENT

6. Last Daughter of ‘Sound of Music’ Family Dies at 93

 PART OF HISTORY 

Rosmarie Trapp did not always revel in the fame the film brought but toured with the family music troupe for many years.

ENTERTAINMENT

7. Fyre Festival Organizer Released From Prison Early

 BYE BYE, BARS 

Billy McFarland, 30, pleaded guilty to two counts of wire fraud was sentenced to six years in jail in 2018.

ENTERTAINMENT

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8. VT Man Thought Bobcat Was ‘Gonna Turn Me Into a Hamburger’

 FRESH MEAT 

Mike Peabody, 70, sustained scratches to his legs after his terrifying encounter with the rabid animal.

U.S. NEWS

9. Yankees Cut Prospect Probed for Stealing From Teammates

 BALLS AND SWIPES 

After signing in the 2019 draft for $597,500, the power hitting right fielder allegedly found an unusual way to make some extra money.

U.S. NEWS

10. Buffalo Shooter Let Small Group View Plans Before Attack

 DETAILED PLANNING 

The online diary was posted to Discord and included detailed attack plans, maps of Tops supermarket, and a recounting of a trip the suspect made to Buffalo in March.

U.S. NEWS

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11. Biden Invokes Defense Production Act For Baby Formula

 DRASTIC MEASURES 

The president also announced Operation Fly Formula, which aims to import formula from abroad.

POLITICS

12. Church Shooting Suspect Mailed Humongous Diary to Newspaper

 POISON PEN? 

It was titled: “Diary of an Independence-Destroying Angel.”

U.S. NEWS

13. Drunk Man Put in Ambulance Shoots Staten Island Paramedic

 EDP SHOOTS EMT 

The man then fled, only to be caught by a retired NYPD detective and an off-duty Sanitation Department lieutenant.

U.S. NEWS

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