1.  Veteran Comic Gilbert Gottfried Dies at 67

 LAUGHING ‘TIL THE END 

Fellow performer Jason Alexander was the first to break the news, which Gottfried’s family later confirmed.

ENTERTAINMENT

2.  Russian Cops Jail Kremlin Critic After CNN Interview

  CRACKDOWN 

Kara-Murza had given an interview to CNN in which he predicted the “Putin regime” would end the war in Ukraine through bloodshed before ultimately being ousted.

WORLD

3.  This Meal Kit Costs Less Than Shopping at the Grocery Store

  AD BY EVERYPLATE 

EveryPlate is less than $5 per serving at full price, but try it now for only $1.79.

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4.  Nurse Found Dead in Bullet-Riddled Car on TX Highway

 ‘A BEAUTIFUL PERSON’ 

Patrina Compton was driving home after bringing her mother food from a barbecue.

U.S. NEWS

5.  Principal Who Said She’d ‘Throat Punch’ Autistic Kid Is Out

 BAD EXAMPLE 

Hazlewood Elementary School Principal Datie Priest is also accused of hitting a third grader, mishandling school funds, and repeatedly showing up late to work.

U.S. NEWS

6.  Video: Ukrainian Mother Tragically Identifies Her Son’s Body

 DEVASTATING 

The son was found in the village of Buzova, which has multiple mass graves of civilians.

WORLD

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7.  Harmony Montgomery’s Stepmom Charged With Gun Theft

 MORE CHARGES  

Adam Montgomery, 7-year-old Harmony’s father, was also charged last week in connection with a theft.

U.S. NEWS

8.  Rihanna Tells Vogue: ‘Why Should You Hide Your Pregnancy?’

 MATERNITY JEANS R.I.P. 

“I’m hoping that we were able to redefine what’s considered ‘decent’ for pregnant women,” Rihanna said. “My body is doing incredible things... I’m not going to be ashamed of that.”

ARTS AND CULTURE

9.  Russian Court Tosses Ex-Marine Trevor Reed’s Appeal

 SHAM HEARING 

“Unfortunately, the justice that Trevor deserves has been denied,” the U.S. Ambassador to Russia said.

WORLD

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10.  Ex-Cops Who Pinned Down George Floyd Reject Plea Deals

 FACE THE MUSIC 

The officers were convicted on federal civil rights charges in February.

U.S. NEWS

11.  Ex-Cops Who Pinned Down George Floyd Reject Plea Deals

  FACE THE MUSIC 

The officers were convicted on federal civil rights charges in February.

U.S. NEWS

12.  Biden to OK Year-Round E15 Gas to Combat Monster Inflation

 PUMPING IT UP 

Cheaper ethanol blend to be permitted for sale, in move mirroring Trump-era policy.

POLITICS

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13.  U.K. Prime Minister Boris Johnson Fined for COVID Parties

 PAY TO PARTY 

He said he has already paid his fine and now wants to “get on and deliver on the mandate that I have.”

WORLD

14.  State Department to Shanghai Staff: Leave Now

 GTFO 

Non-emergency U.S. staff at Shanghai consulate told to pack their bags over harsh COVID lockdown.

WORLD

15.  U.K. Volunteer Taken by Russians After ‘Hell of a Fight’

 P.O.W. 

The mother of Aiden Aslin, who has been fighting as part of Ukraine’s military since 2018, told the BBC “he called me and said they had no weapons left.”

WORLD

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