1. Zelensky Slams Biden for ‘Looking on’ While Putin Closes In

‘FIGHT FOR US’

The Ukrainian president said early Friday that the West has left his country to fight alone.

WORLD

2. Driver Mows Down Miami Diners While Trying to Parallel Park

DEADLY ACCIDENT

The driver, described by police as an “elderly woman,” accelerated into an outdoor cafe.

U.S. NEWS

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3. PSA: Amazon Has Apple Airpods For Under a $100 Right Now

HEAR BETTER

Airpods can make any commute, office, or walk down the street a better experience. Grab a pair while they’re on sale during Amazon’s winter sale.

SCOUTED

4. Ukrainian President Asks Putin for Talks to End the Killing

DESPERATE PLEA

“Let's sit down at the negotiating table,” he said.

WORLD

5. Rioter Who Wore ‘God, Guns, Trump’ Shirt to Capitol Jailed

LOCKED UP

Jeffrey Register’s lawyer said his wife “is still angry with him” for attending the riot.

U.S. NEWS

6. This Is the Only CBD Oil That Has Actually Helped Me Sleep

SOUND ASLEEP

SCOUTED

7. WATCH: Ukrainian Woman Gives Russian Soldier a Superb Earful

‘YOU ARE CURSED’

After essentially vowing to the soldiers that they’d become fertilizer, the ballsy woman declared, “From this moment, you are cursed. I’m telling you.”

WORLD

8. Russia’s Foreign Minister Thinks the Whole World Is Blind

SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

As Ukraine suffered civilian casualties and residential buildings came under fire, Sergei Lavrov told reporters “nobody is going to attack the people of Ukraine.”

WORLD

9. JD Vance Suddenly Decides He DOES Give a Sh*t About Ukraine

‘Performative affection’

The Ohio Senate hopeful declared the Ukraine invasion a “tragedy” in a lengthy statement issued days after saying he couldn’t care less.

POLITICS

10. Russian Attack on Chernobyl Kicks Up Radioactive Dust

OVER REACTING?

Experts say there is no immediate threat of another nuclear accident at the infamous site.

WORLD

11. 5 Million Children Lost Parent or Caregiver to COVID

DEEP SCARS

A new study says that’s one child every six seconds.

WORLD

12. AP Backpedals After Proudly Touting NFT of Stranded Migrants

GHOULISH

“This is a grotesque way to earn a profit.”

MEDIA

13. Ukraine Soldier Blew Himself Up to Stop Russian Troops: Kyiv

FINAL ACT

A bridge was mined to stop the advance of Russian tanks, and Vitaly Skakun chose to stay behind and detonate it even thought it meant killing himself, the military said.

WORLD

14. Arsonist Gang Accused of Wild Crusade Against ‘Evil’ Walmart

‘WE WILL NOT STOP’

Five members of a group calling themselves the Veterans Order penned a bizarre manifesto explaining why they set fires in four Walmarts last year.

U.S. NEWS

15. ‘M*A*S*H’ Actress Sally Kellerman Dead of Dementia at 84

👄

She was the original Hot Lips Houlihan on the big screen.

ENTERTAINMENT

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