Christian Work at Home Ministries

Where Have All the Fathers Gone?

Posted: 03 Jul 2015 07:00 AM PDT

Around this time of the year, my thoughts wander back to my father. I grew up with a father who believed in being the father. He was not always right, but what he said was law in our house.

Although not a very well educated person, my father knew how to use the Board of Education on the Seat of Learning for all of us children. He believed he had the right to be judge, jury and executioner concerning the things in his children’s life, with no appeal to a higher authority.

In the kitchen hanging next to the door to go outside was a very interesting parenting tool, at least in my father’s eyes: a paddle with a religious inscription, “I Need Thee Every Hour.” The inscription was quite true to the reality of life in our home.

Spanking was a routine exercise in our home. My father had the idea that if you were in trouble in school you were also in trouble at home. He had this fantastic idea that the teacher was right and I was wrong. I guess he knew me and that I could take a little bit of truth and spin it into a lie. I wonder who I learned that from?

Several times I got in trouble at school, which involved a spanking down at the principal’s office. The first time this happened, I well remember walking into the kitchen and saw my father standing there holding in his hand that infamous paddle. Within a few moments, the paddle was doing its duty and I was doing the “paddle dance.”

After the paddling, my father sat down with me and said, “Okay, what trouble did you get into at school requiring the principal to paddle you?”

I wished he had asked me before the paddling, because now I had no incentive whatsoever to lie. Looking back, maybe that was the whole purpose of the paddling.

Ruminating over these things, I tried to figure out how many spankings I actually got during my lifetime. Let me just say, it was significant. More than that. It taught me respect for authority.

I wonder if some of these young people getting into trouble today ever had a spanking? Of course, today that is completely against PC. My father did not believe in PC, but he did believe emphatically in BS (Back Side). I think if parents today would focus more on BS than PC, things might be a lot different.

To spank or not to spank, that is the dilemma today. Most gravitate towards the “not to spank” aspect unaware they are creating a lot of damage for the next generation.

If some of these youngsters could spend a week with my father and his infamous “paddle” they would grow to respect authority. Unfortunately, there is no authority figure in most homes today. Even those homes that have fathers are coerced into believing the father has no real significance in the family.

All I can do is to quote a famous psychologist, “How’s that working?”

Well, how is that working?

The wisest man in the world, Solomon, said, “For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth” (Proverbs 3:12).

True love always corrects that which is wrong, especially in the person they love.

About the Author: Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 1-866-552-2543 or e-mail jamessnyder2@att.net or website www.jamessnyderministries.com.

The Wisdom of Donatello

Posted: 02 Jul 2015 11:00 AM PDT

​ If you’ve been reading my blog posts religiously (and I know you have), undoubtedly you have drawn the conclusion that I am, to use a colloquial term, a geek. So far, I’ve watched the Star Wars 30 second teaser trailer, released this past Thanksgiving weekend, about a gazillion times — that should give you an idea of my geekyness. If you need further proof, I have a box containing a large amount of comic books. None of them are worth very much because I’ve read them, and still read them, periodically; they are really good comic books.

One, that has an exceptional amount of wear-and-tear, is a comic featuring one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Donatello. It’s a “how to” on using the wooden quarter ‘bo’ staff that he uses. As a kid, I reread that particular comic over and over using a broom handle to prepare for the possibility of a ninja attack. (And, read below, how it might actually have saved me from serious injury.)

One line that sticks out to me from the book, is this: Know your enemy, and know yourself, and you cannot be beaten.

It’s a pretty heavy and powerful bit of wisdom, especially being shared by a mutant reptile. I latched onto it because it sounded so wise, and, because I usually eat up any proverbs that are part of preparing for eventual ninja attack.

Us Dads should be prepared as well, and the quote from Donatello applies to us. Let’s break it down:

Know your Enemy: Pretty easy. The Bible says that,

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8

and

John 8:44 . . . He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Know yourself: We should probably investigate this one. The Enemy prowls around looking for an opening, or weakness in us. Knowing ourselves can help us manage those times when we are susceptible to attack.

As dads and humans we get tired, and confused, and frustrated. The trick is to know when those times come, when and where are our weaknesses. Because, at those moments, Satan delivers a lie. A believed lie can change your life.

Knowing ourselves though, is a key to all that. Honestly if a group of real-life ninjas burst down my door and began ninja-ing me, I am not prepared for that kind of attack. Sometimes, metaphorically, those things happen. You could have a car accident, or someone steals something from you, or the house floods. No amount of knowing yourself helps during those moments. But, what about the day where nothing goes right? the day where you didn’t get enough sleep or the time you burn the full set of hot wings on the grill? Those times come, and others like them, a little too frequently. Those are the moments when “knowing yourself” comes in handy. Ask yourself these questions.

As Dads, we need to know the answer to all of these. One time, I agreed to do a Christian weight loss program with my wife. Typical to many ‘diets’ there was a major sugar cutback. Three days into the ‘eat less sugar’ regime I was handling the diet much worse than my wife. I was crabby, and on edge, all the time. I had to realize and file away my experience into the “know myself” category. I get really ugly without sugar.

We all need to take stock in our weaknesses and be aware; because, the end result of this Wisdom from Donatello is that we will ‘not be beaten.’

When I’ve had a long day and my two boys come home and start fighting, and bickering, and asking for food, and — did I already say fighting? — I want to not be beaten. Since I know myself, I know that I’m tired, and thinking about 30 million things. I can give the kids some chores that separate them, plan something easy for dinner, and take a few moments to unload my overloaded brain.

Sometimes as a Dad, there is no way to have the house running like a smooth, seamless machine, and keep a Zen attitude despite the circumstances. Sometimes we are just trying to achieve “not be beaten.” That’s ok, as Splinter the Rat says in the end of my comic book: “The unguarded moment is the biggest enemy for any martial artist.” Ok, that doesn’t actually apply. But how about, “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:13) “Standing” in this case is the equivalent of “not be beaten.”

By the way, I wrote earlier in the article that I would share how this comic and Donatello kept me from a beating.

My friend Bill and I were in Jr. High (Middle School nowadays) and had just started heading home from a whole day playing and exploring the nearby woods. We were decked out with all our pretend-to-be-heroes paraphernalia: Bill had a bow and arrow, we both had some sort of ‘survival knife’ (Rambo was popular then), and I had a broom handle ‘bo’ staff.

We came out of the woods onto the road and misjudged our exit point. We were several miles from Bill’s house. So we started walking. All at once, a group of high school guys came riding up on 5 ATV “four-wheelers.” One of them shouted something about us being ‘nerds’ (which, was probably true), and another decided to zoom toward us and make us dive out of the way. Soon, all five four-wheeled guys were heading toward us, making passes, trying to kick us, and calling us names. Yeah, it was teenage bullying at its finest, and it was getting out of hand.

Bill stopped cringing and diving, picked up his bow and loaded an arrow. I held up my broom handle. The circling, charging, and kicking halted. The high school guys stopped their taunting and revved the engine as they stared at us.

. . . . and just like any 80’s movie involving ruffians, one of the older kid in the group said, “Come on guys, we’ve got better things to do than to mess with these dweebs.” and they road off down the road.

So, aside from sharing a bit of my personal nostalgia and explaining why there are several wooden staffs mounted inside the front door of my house, the moral is that God provides all kinds of circumstances that can change your life — know your enemy and know yourself so that those moments can be ones in which you are not beaten.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Brad Washburn is a father, husband, and Director of a Christian counseling center in Tampa, Florida. He has helped hundreds of people over the last 15 years. In particular, he desires to see fathers be “men after God’s own heart” — a description of King David in the Bible who was a lover, fighter, sheep herder, and harp player . . . . Find out more at www.pathseekercenter.org