DailyOM - Unconscious Communication

October 7, 2016
Chronic Lateness
Unconscious Communication

When people are chronically late, they are in essence saying that their time is more important than yours.

Being late for an appointment or a date can seem like a small thing that really doesnt matter, but it communicates volumes, whether we mean it to or not. Being kept waiting is an experience that almost no one enjoys, because at best, it wastes their time, and at worst, it indicates a lack of regard. Its as if were saying that our time is more important than their time, so we dont need to honor them by showing up when we said we would. When we are running late, it means a lot if we call and let the person know, especially if its going to be more than ten minutes. However, if we are chronically late, it may take more than a phone call to properly address the issue.

If its become a habit of ours not to be on time, we may want to look inside ourselves and see whats going on. Its easy enough to make excuses about our behavior, or to project responsibility on the other person, perceiving them to be uptight if they are irritated by our tardiness. Whats more difficult, and more meaningful, is looking at ourselves and asking why it is that we always, or often, show up late. Sometimes this happens out of a lack of self-regard, as if we arent really important anyway, so why will anyone care if were late, or dont show up at all. Chronic lateness can also stem from being disorganized, or simply trying to do too much in one day. Another possible reason for being late to a particular appointment, or date, is that we dont really want to be there. We communicate our disinterest or boredom by not showing up on time.

Whatever our reasons, if we raise them to the conscious level, we have an opportunity to live a more conscious life. As we begin to understand the deeper reasons behind our inability to show up on time, we have the option to communicate clearly and consciously about how we really feel, rather than communicating unconsciously by being late.

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