A few days ago I had the ten thousand kay service done on the van and soooo wished it had been on the bike!

A day or so before that someone asked me how the new bike was. The best I could come up with was "It's lovely to look at". I've only been able to achieve ever decreasing circles with my lockdown limit of 15 klicks from home.

However, the glass half full person has been nailed to my office chair in the last few weeks, repeating the positive mantra of 'not long now'. We might not get across the borders straight away but surely there's ridin' in them thar hills on the horizon.

Apart from the very lucky ones who roll out the front gate straight onto a favourite road, most of us have a period of drone work to do to get 'away'. Most city dwellers need to battle the cages for an hour or so until the essence of the bike experience starts to wash over them.

Tin toppers struggle to propel their cages at the best of times, what are they gonna be like after a few months off?

I am hangin' to bugger off for a few days. There's a mountain of product that needs evaluation time and my head needs some campfire TV.

As turns out, Victoria has loosened its restrictions a little earlier than planned. The next question is – "Will it be safe to join the madding crowd out on the roads?"
Jeff Crowe Photo
Apparently we have to impose density limits, does that mean an IQ test at the door?

Mystery Item


Last month's piece had me stumped for years. But I got pretty rapid and definitive answers pretty quick.
John Van B said;  "looks like the crankshaft out of an old model aero engine, a side-port type", he added.

"If you didn't spend any of your youth getting your fingers bitten by small propellers, model aero diesels ran on a brew of kero, ether, and oil, usually castor oil. Ignition was achieved by compression. Other model engines used glow plugs and ran on methanol, oil, and a touch of nitromethane.  Still others ran spark ignition burning petrol and oil".

My response was – Ha, only the rich kids got to do that. I could only watch and sniff the fumes. I did get to start the engines however, when the owner was at risk of shredded fingers ‘cause it was playing up.

Bruce P came back pretty quick too with "looks like a crankshaft from a miniature two stroke engine".

When I have no idea, who am I to argue? Thanks guys.

This month's teaser is this odd looking thing.

Is it part of a gun, maybe advance retard in a distributor?
Waddyarekon?

Miss Conception and Waterproof Gloves


Have we been sold a pup when it comes to the concept of waterproof gloves or are we expecting to much?

My thoughts tend to roll with the latter. I reckon the purpose of waterproof gloves is to get me home on a wet ride. Can I really expect them to keep out the cloud tears on a whole week away? Hardly...

Apart from getting wet, cold and heavy I'd defy any hi-tech membrane from stopping the build up of moisture (yes even sweat, have you seen how much your hands actually perspire?).

It's really hard to keep the inside gloves dry if it rains from stop to stop as it is.
No matter how meticulously I approach donning and doffing gloves on long rides moisture ends up on the inside. Maybe I need a ball kid like tennis players have to have a towel ready?

My standard travel set up consists of summer gloves, Sambia summer gloves, Mid-season with a waterproof capability – Air n Dry, fine Merino inner gloves and... Rain-Off Overgloves to prevent the blery things getting wet in the first place. Huey can throw what she likes at me anywhere in the world (as if...) and I get away dry and comfortable, rarely having to deal with cold, saturated gloves and wrinkly hands.

Gone Postal

We've just got Christmas posting dates through. If like me you have been driven to strong painkillers, alcohol, dangerous self abuse and youtube by Australia Post in the last few months, this could be useful info. 
  • Parcel Post – 13 December 2021
  • Express Post – 20 December 2021
* Excludes to and from Perth and Darwin.

So, to have any chance of getting goodies under the tree for the big day, get in early.
OMG! WTF! BS! YGTBJ! SRSLY! SMH!

Sudden Impact

I was reminded of more of the ways our life is changing in a email conversation the other day.

Andy,
I use my impact driver for all sorts of fasteners in all sorts of places/machines (including electronics). Tightening fasteners just needs a gentle touch and then finish with a hand spanner or torque wrench. The impact driver came in handy when I needed to remove the clutch bolts but it is also good for removing (and replacing) case screws. It is also easier to use the impact driver if you have arthritis of the hands when it becomes awkward to manipulate screwdrivers.
Cheers
Jeff C


Most workshops I find myself in use the impact drivers almost exclusively and the assembly lines our bikes were 'born' on did too but...

I must admit to being a little 'gun-shy' when it comes to using them to do up bolts, especially the inserting and cross-threading part... I've long used a drill to remove bodywork screws. Stroof, the Cagiva Elefant had two a gazillion screws to get the clothes of for service. I've been a nut fkr par excellence for many years I don't need help! But I still love them for pulling things to bits though.
 

Pump it Up

Pump it up, until you can feel it
Pump it up, when you don't really need it.
Dah dah da da da.


Actually when you really need it!

Back to Basics Pump

 

Simple light and robust little pump. Plug it into a power outlet on the bike or clip it onto the battery terminals.

Click Here for more info

Powerbank and Pump combined


Charge a phone or cordlessly pump up a tyre.

More info here
No use wishing now for any other sin! – Elvis Costello

Strom Gone

A bit like the transition of monarchy, "the king is dead, long live the king". The Bumblewee has gone to a new home. I advertised it on bikesales and less than thirty six hours later there was a deposit in the bank.  Stroof, I could 'ave sold it twice in that time!

The last of the videos evaluating the bike will go up on youtube in the near future.

See ya ol' mate!

Dark Arts

Putting a bike on the center-stand seems to cause some people to cast aside dummies and pop hernias. Many are so scared of the process, they avoid it like the plague (hmmm, after the last two years I wonder about the appropriateness of such an analogy).

For those of you who do struggle here's a few hints.

The key to the whole thing, like so much of riding, is weight transfer and timing. It goes without saying that some center-stands are crap but over the years the ergonomics of the design has caught up. My Tiger 800 was a bugger for it. Unless I stood up on the foot lever like a Meerkat and waited for it to get the leverage mustered it wouldn't budge.

So I make sure both feet of the stand are firmly on the ground and secure, I then transfer all of my weight to the foot lever, 'feeling' both feet on the ground as I do so. At this point I wait and lean toward the back of the bike a little. There seems to be a moment when the bike only needs a little reminder of what is expected of it. I give the bike a bit of a lift – a drag back and up.

Gone are the days when I had the confidence to get the old Ducati on the center stand while still on the bike. I used to be able to slip it on as I rolled it backwards into the gutter.


That's about all I have to write at you this month.

Copyalater

Andy


 
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