Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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 Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 26 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!  ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  45 Years In Prison For Armed Robbery, Weapons Charges  ___________________________________________________ Today, February 26 in 1993 Six people were killed and more than a thousand injured when a van exploded in the parking garage beneath the World Trade Center in New York City. The bomb had been built by Muslim extremists. ____________________________________________________ The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ____________________________________________________ This guy found the neatest way to make his wife a more careful and defensive driver. He pointed out to her if she's ever in an accident, the paper will print her real age. ____________________________________________________ A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!" ____________________________________________________   Italy Samir Djail ___________________________________________________ Every village has a village idiot, except in Washington D.C. where idiot is plural. __________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Michael Williams, 27, Baltimore, Maryland, USA  45 Years In Prison For Armed Robbery, Weapons Charges  A Baltimore man was sentenced to 45 years in prison Tuesday for armed robbery and weapon charges. Michael Williams, 27, was found guilty of armed robbery, use of a firearm in the commission of a violent crime and possession of a regulated firearm. Baltimore City Police were called to the 300 block of S. Anne Street in February of 2018 where a man was robbed by Williams and three unknown suspects. Officers located Williams and another suspect shortly after they were called. Police said their helicopter found Williams and another man, hiding in a back yard in the 500 Block of N. Milton Avenue. When officers went for the arrest, he threw the gun on a nearby roof. The gun stared firing after hitting the roof, causing officers to duck for cover. Williams was prohibited from possessing a handgun at the time of his arrest and has a history of assault, weapons offenses, intent to distribute probation and parole violations and robbery.  
DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Olga Re: Kill Chrome Search data Dear Webby, I need to kill either the the Chrome search data, or my daughter and her friends. They search for some of the weirdest stuff, and then my sweet and innocent hubby asks what I had been doing on certain sites. HELP! Olga Dear Olga If you just want to delete the history, hit CTRL H, checkmark what you want to delete, and hit DELETE, and OK. If youd like to delete all Google-related history (browsing, cache, search, etc.), the process is rather simple. This is not the same as deleting your website history. As previously mentioned, you are managing data stored by Google that is related to Google in some way. Open Chrome or any other browser. Go to Google My Account and log in. Find Privacy & personalization in the top left corner, then click on Manage your data & personalization. Scroll down until you see the Activity and timeline box. Once there, click on My Activity. If you want to delete your complete search history or a custom range, select the Delete activity by on the screens left side. Choose your time range for activity deletion (Last hour, Last day, All time, or Custom range.) Confirm your choice by selecting Delete. Depending on how many years worth of stuff you have in ther, this might take a few minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby
The world isn't crazy, only 90% of it. The other 10% is certifiably insane.
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 >From Bill My first stop on my vacation was my sister's house in Montana. She's extremely organized. Before she leaves on a trip, she always types up address labels for her postcards. This time, I figured I'd done her one better. I boasted, "You'll be impressed. I've already written thank- you notes to everyone with whom I'll be staying. They're all stamped and ready to go." My sister was silent for a moment, and then she said, "You mean those little envelopes I saw in your room and mailed this morning?" ____________________________________________ The Chief Resident remarked to the Unit Director of the busy ICU that there seemed to be an awful lot of expectant Nurses in their Unit. As they were walking down the hall, he was becoming concerned about a possible staff shortage and inquired of the Director when each pregnant Nurse they passed was due. Each time the Director would respond, "Some time in late September." Coming upon the 5th expectant Nurse, he asked yet again. The Director responded, "I have no idea Sir. Norma Jeanne wasn't at the Christmas Party." ____________________________________________ Here is a real Classic: Two little boys in first grade were chosen to be the leads in their first school play. It was to be a Shakespearean Play. The first little boy was to say "My fair maiden....I have come to snatch a kiss and fill your soul with hope" The second little boy was to reply by saying " Hark! a pistol shot" Well on opening night in the school auditorium, the two little boys were a bit nervous, knowing that all the seats were going to be filled with grown-ups The teacher told them to take their places on the stage and to remember to speak very loud as soon as the curtain goes up. Well, the curtain rose and looking out upon the audience the two boys were terrified. They stood there frozen. So the teacher whispered for them to begin. And so the first boy yelled out these unforgettable words..."My fair maiden....I have come to kiss your snatch!...and fill your hole with soap. The second boy screams out..."Hark! a shistol pot, a postle shiss, a pot of shit, horse shit, cow shit, bull shit..I never wanted to be in this stupid play anyway! ____________________________________________ 
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________
 Today February 26 in 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte escaped from the Island of Elba. He then began his second conquest of France. 1848 The second French Republic was proclaimed. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the National Currency Act. 1870 In New York City, the first pneumatic-powered subway line was opened to the public. (Beach Pneumatic Transit) 1881 S.S. Ceylon began a world-wide cruise, beginning in Liverpool, England. 1907 The U.S. Congress raised their own pay to $7500. 1916 Mutual signed Charlie Chaplin to a film contract. 1919 In Arizona, the Grand Canyon was established as a National Park with an act of the U.S. Congress. 1929 U.S. President Coolidge signed a bill creating the Grand Teton National Park. 1930 New York City installed traffic lights. 1933 A ground-breaking ceremony was held at Crissy Field for the Golden Gate Bridge. 1945 In the U.S., a nationwide midnight curfew went into effect. 1952 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill announced that Britain had developed an atomic bomb from instructions given by the USA. 1986 Corazon Aquino was inaugurated president of the Philippines. Long time President Ferdinand Marcos went into exile. 1991 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein announced on Baghdad Radio that Iraqi troops were being withdrawn from Kuwait. 1993 Six people were killed and more than a thousand injured when a van exploded in the parking garage beneath the World Trade Center in New York City. The bomb had been built by Islamic extremists. 1995 Barings PLC collapsed after a securities dealer lost more than $1.4 billion by gambling on Tokyo stock prices. The company was Britain's oldest investment banking firm. 1998 A Texas jury rejected an $11 million lawsuit by Texas cattlemen who blamed Oprah Winfrey for price drop after on-air comment about mad-cow disease. 1998 In Oregon, a health panel rules that taxpayers must help to pay for doctor-assisted suicides. 2001 A U.N. tribunal convicted Bosnian Croat political leader Dario Kordic and military commander Mario Cerkez of war crimes. They had ordered the systematic murder and persecution of Muslim civilians during the Bosnian war. 2009 Former Serbian president Milan Milutinovic was acquitted by the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia regarding war crimes during the Kosovo War. 2009 The Pentagon reveresed its 18-year policy of not allowing media to cover returning war dead. The reversal allowsd some media coverage with family approval. 2021 Do smiled. 
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