| | | | | | | | | | | | PRACTICAL WISDOM FOR LEADING CONGREGATIONS |
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| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | Consider this scenario...
An outreach ministry team seeks council approval to use mission auction monies for an elevator to make the congregation's building more accessible to people with disabilities. During council discussion of this request, the pastor questions the appropriateness of using mission funds for an elevator. After all, she points out, mission monies should be used only for the congregation's outreach ministries. Since no one from the outreach ministry team is present, council refers the request back for clarification.
This referral action seems sensible, except for an important misperception: the outreach ministry team thinks their request is rejected rather than returned for clarification. They also feel that the pastor exerts undue influence in the council's action.
Feeling hurt, unappreciated, and ignored, the ministry team members angrily demand a meeting with the pastor. They also send her a feisty memo expressing their frustration, including a sharply worded demand that the council reconsider their request. They argue that people outside the congregation will use the elevator, including a number of organizations that meet at congregation's building (e.g. A.A., a preschool, etc.) Their rationale acknowledges that an elevator serves the congregation, but presents compelling ways that it also is an outreach ministry.
What happens next?
When the disgruntled outreach ministry team meets with the pastor, she corrects the misperception that the council denied their request. However, rather than talk past one another, play the blame-game, let the conflict spiral out of control, further damage trust, or fracture relationships, the pastor listens to ministry team members' feelings of anger and hurt. She also checks her perception of what she heard them say and feel. Moreover, rather than try to convince these members that they no longer have reason to feel angry, the pastor calmly acknowledges their frustration.
This pastor's active listening and perception checking skills, together with her non-anxious presence, defuse this potentially conflicted situation. It communicates to ministry team members that the she takes them seriously. They feel confirmed, understood, and appreciated. It also communicates that the pastor tries to use her power and influence to serve and help rather than cajole and control.
However, this incident could have had a very different, all-too-common outcome.
Read more from Thomas Kirkpatrick »
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ORDER TODAY & SAVE Use code ALWK1116 and get 35% off when you order either of Thomas Kirkpatrick's Alban books (Communication in the Church (print or ebook) or Small Groups in the Church), through the Rowman & Littlefield website or by calling toll-free 800-462-6420.
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| Offer Expires 11/28/16. Discount cannot be combined with other special offers and only applies to purchases made directly from Rowman & Littlefield. Ebooks must be ordered online and cannot be combined with print orders. |
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| IDEAS THAT IMPACT: COMMUNICATIONS
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For an organization in which the word is central, the church does a poor job of communicating, says an SMU professor and consultant. She has some advice on how church leaders can do it better.
Read more from the interview with Maria Dixon Hall » |
Christian leaders today have to grapple with one of the most profoundly disruptive trends in the world: the digital revolution. Faith & Leadership offers resources to help with communications -- online, in traditional media, in marketing, and within organizations.
Explore the list of resources »
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In 2005, Alban surveyed senior pastors to identify one thing that their staff does well and one thing that they think their staff could improve. Communication made the top of both lists. What they told us then still offers wisdom for today.
Read more from the survey »
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Communication in the Church: A Handbook for Healthier Relationships by Thomas G. Kirkpatrick
Communication is integral to the mission of the church, but it can go awry in myriad ways, both obvious and subtle. Communication in the Church helps congregations create healthier ways for their members to relate to one another for greater personal and congregational success. The book offers practical guidelines to help readers become more effective in how they build relationships, lead meetings, experience trust, practice forgiveness, use power, and bridge cultures.
Communication in the Church distills the latest social science research for readers including clergy, lay leaders, continuing education planners, students, scholars, and others. Each chapter includes real-life scenarios, sensible guidelines, practical applications, and suggestions for further learning. This book aims to help readers communicate more effectively-from leading more engaging and productive meetings to preventing or addressing communication breakdowns.
Learn more and order the book » |
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