When I first traveled to China, I ended up spending 3 months learning Mandarin and making friends. Those first few months my friends had special occasions. One of them got married. One had a birthday. Another's sister had a baby. I wasn't sure what the custom was to offer congratulations. Should I get them a gift? Should I write them a card?
I learned that the best way to show congratulations to a Chinese friend in China is:
份子钱 (fènzi qián) gift money 
Let's break this word down so you can get the full meaning:
份 (fèn): portion, share;
子 (zi): noun suffix;
钱 (qián): coin, money.
份子 (fènzi): one's share of expenses for a joint undertaking; as in buying a gift for a mutual friend. For example:
凑份子 (còu fènzi) Club together to present a gift to sb.
份子钱 (fènzi qián): gift money (on the occasion of a wedding etc); common charges.
Example:
Dàxué tóngxué jiéhūn, wǒ gěi le yì qiān kuàn fènzi qián.
大学 同学 结婚， 我 给 了 一 千 块 份子 钱。
I sent 1000 Yuan as a congratulations gift to my university classmate for her wedding.
When To Give It
Nowadays, If you have knowledge of "份子钱 (fènzi qián)," it will really put you ahead in building your relationships with your Chinese friends. It shows you have an understanding of general Chinese etiquette, but also shows you have a deeper understanding of traditional Chinese culture as well. You can give "份子钱 (fènzi qián)" for special occasions such as:
- Birthdays
- Marriages
- Baby's birth
- House-warming
- Acceptance Parties - these are when Chinese families celebrate the admittance of a child to University.
Giving "份子钱 (fènzi qián)" is a way for you to offer congratulations and show that you care about each of those significant life events. Instead of physical, customized gifts the Chinese usually just give money, since it is seen as a much more convenient way to express good wishes to the bride and groom, mother-to-be, etc.
The Big Question: How Much Money Should You Give ...Read more
