Hi John,

Do both parties in a disagreement need to use the skills taught in Crucial Conversations for that disagreement to be productive?

What do you think? And how would you persuade someone of your perspective?

Today’s Q&A explores this interesting topic, and we invite you to add your perspective in the comments section.
Convincing People of the Power of Crucial Conversations
by Ryan Trimble

We’ve been learning Crucial Conversations skills at work. Things have been going well and we’ve had some great, open, and honest discussions about the skills and principles. However, several people have said that they only work if both parties use them. I said that I kindly disagree. It takes only one person in the conversation using the skills to have a successful Crucial Conversation. I’m having trouble expressing this better. How do I show that this is true?

Signed,
Advocate

The first time I attended Crucial Conversations I asserted the same thing your peers are—that productive disagreement depends on BOTH parties using the skills and principles taught in the course.

I shared my perspective with the trainer and asked what he thought. I don’t remember what he said, but I do remember feeling illuminated by his response, which is perhaps best represented by this question: If caught in a Crucial Conversation with someone who is being dishonest or disrespectful, would not using the skills yourself be effective?
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Simplicity and sincerity generally go hand in hand, as both proceed from a love of truth.
 
—Mary Wollstonecraft