1.  COVID-19 Has Killed More Americans Than World War II

 DARK DAYS 

And the pandemic isn’t over.

2.  TX GOP Congressman Catches COVID-19 Amid Lung Cancer Battle

  YIKES 

“I am experiencing minor symptoms, but overall, I feel okay,” Rep. Ron Wright, whose district includes the Dallas suburbs, said in a statement Thursday.

3.  Score Kate Spade Up To Seventy-Flipping-Five Percent Off

 AD BY KATE SPADE 

The Kate Spade Surprise Sale is back and more swoon-worthy than ever.

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4.  Rep. Greene Supported 9/11, Sandy Hook Conspiracies

 UNHINGED 

Greene once agreed with a Facebook commenter who wrote “none of the school shootings were real or done by the ones who were supposedly arrested for them.”

5.  Ohio Priest Suspended After Attending Capitol Insurrection

 CHURCH AND STATE 

Father Mark Hodges told The Lima News that he didn’t participate in any violence, and was just there to support then-President Trump.

6.  Ditch Your Food Storage Containers for These Silicone Bags

 STRESS-FREE STORAGE 

Don’t let food storage containers hog your cabinet space, when silicone bags lay flat and let you throw them in dishwashers, ovens and boiling water.

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7.  Trump Hands Biden Modern America’s ‘Worst Ever Jobs Market’

 THANKS, DONALD 

Some 900,000 people filed new unemployment claims during Donald Trump’s last week in office, and the unemployment rate stands at 6.7 percent.

8.  MyPillow Guy and Jane Krakowski Had Secret Fling: Daily Mail

 PILLOW TALK 

When asked for comment, Mike Lindell told the outlet, “I have never even heard of Jane Krakowski???”

9.  Woman Who Took Private Plane to Riots Begs for Donations

 ‘I NEED HELP PATRIOTS’ 

“All my computers were confiscated as well as my phone and my Maga hat,” Jenna Ryan said in a Thursday Twitter thread asking for PayPal donations.

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10.  Air Force Women Celebrate New Rules Allowing Long Hairstyles

 ‘DAMAGE TO HAIR’ 

Chief Master Sergeant JoAnne S. Bass said the changes were part of an effort to “reflect our diverse force.”

11.  Interior Department Puts Breaks on New Oil and Gas Drilling

  FULL STOP 

Biden has said tackling climate change is one of his new administration’s biggest priorities.

12.  ‘Terrorist Act’: Suicide Bombers Kill 32 at Baghdad Market

 BOMBS UPON BAGHDAD 

Iraqi officials believe the attack was perpetrated by ISIS.

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13.  Video Shows Since-Promoted CA Cop Brutalizing Jailed Man

 ATTACK AND SERVE 

Lt. Kent Tribble can be seen punching Enrique Cruz multiple times in the head, before slamming him against the wall.

14.  ‘Zip Tie Guy’ Had Stockpile of Weapons at Home: Prosecutors

 GUNS GALORE 

A newly released detention letter says Eric Munchel and his mother also stashed weapons outside the Capitol before they stormed the building.

15.  AOC Brutally Mocks Ted Cruz for Dumb Paris Climate Tweet

 JE NE COMPRENDS PAS 

The Texas senator launched a clueless attack on President Joe Biden’s decision to re-enter the Paris Climate Agreement on his first day in office.

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