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Crucial Skills | A Blog by Crucial Learning

JUNE 15, 2022 • VOL. 20 ISSUE 24

Hi John,

Many of our communication and relationship troubles result from failing to respect boundaries. Not the boundaries of preference or tolerance necessarily, but the simple, undeniable, and invisible boundary that separates each of us from one another—our distinct personhood.

Today’s Q&A highlights how one skill from Crucial Conversations can help us respect that boundary for healthier relationships and more effective communication.

You’ll also find below tips on setting clear expectations.

And we offer a warm thank you and shout out to those who posted a Google review and entered our drawing to win a course. Our winners were Lisa Smith, Fara Eve Barnes, and Jennifer Campbell. Congrats!

HOW TO COMMUNICATE BOUNDARIES SO YOU CAN'T BE MANIPULATED—OR MANIPULATE OTHERS

by Ryan Trimble

I frequently find myself in Crucial Conversations with someone who is disrespectful and demeaning towards me. I have tried the strategy of apologizing for any wrongs I may have committed, but this person is only willing to talk if I take full responsibility for every wrong they feel I’ve committed and then do things exactly their way. This seems unfair. What can I do?

Signed,
Gaslighted

Based on the information you’ve provided, I can interpret your situation in two ways: either this person is trying to hold you accountable (and failing), or they’re trying to manipulate you (and succeeding).

Because I don’t know the truth of your situation, I will share tips to help you respond in either case.
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How Do I Say That?

HOW TO SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS

There is often a gap between what managers expect employees to do and what employees think they are expected to do. Use these two tips to communicate clear expectations and close the gap.
WATCH VIDEO

VIRTUAL

HOW TO STOP PROCRASTINATING AND START ACTING

We all procrastinate from time to time. Have you ever asked yourself why? People often assume they lack willpower to start, when in truth they lack a single and clear next action.
WATCH VIDEO

August 8–12

Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue Healthcare

Join us live online and learn how to:

  • Resolve conflict.
  • Speak your mind truthfully and tactfully.
  • Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
  • Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.

Client results include:

  • Improved patient safety.
  • Reduced turnover and employee burnout.
  • Better agility and adaptability through change.
  • Increased equity and inclusion.
  • A culture of open dialogue where employees can speak up and be heard.
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The proverb warns that “You should not bite the hand that feeds you.” But maybe you should, if it prevents you from feeding yourself.
 

—Thomas Stephen Szasz
 
 

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