Crucial Learning
Crucial Skills | A Blog by Crucial Learning

AUGUST 24, 2022 • VOL. 20 ISSUE 34

Hi John,

It’s a simple question and yet fraught with potential for misunderstanding: “Hey, do you have a problem with me?”

If you suspect someone is frustrated, irritated, or angry with you, how can you ask them? Today’s Q&A sheds light.

HOW TO SAY "DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME?"

by Justin Hale

How do you ask someone “What is your problem with me?” without prompting a blowup or defensive behavior?

Signed,
Suspicious

Good for you. You’re aware that our actions and attitudes can influence others, and interested enough in strengthening the relationship that you want to get to the root cause. Often we don’t notice when others have a problem with us, or we do and write it off as “their problem.”

The key to asking this question without prompting a blowup is your delivery, and your delivery can vary by context.
CONTINUE READING

How Do I Say That?

HOW TO REWORK A COMMITMENT YOU'VE MADE

Made a commitment you can’t keep? Not sure what to do? Here’s how you can rework that commitment without destroying trust.
WATCH

Oct 3–7

Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue—Certification

Get certified in Crucial Conversations and teach people in your organization how to:

  • Resolve conflict.
  • Speak up truthfully and tactfully.
  • Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
  • Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.
REGISTER
 
 

Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.
 

—Susan David