The first thing you need to do is a gut check. Be sure you are fully aware of what you are asking for and the consequences of choosing it. The preferences you describe are reasonable. They just aren’t typical. It’s somewhat akin to asking your favorite fast-food place to not put mayonnaise on your sandwich and then asking them to remember you dislike mayonnaise for every future visit.

Most people use workplaces as a hunting ground for closer friendship. The norm, therefore, is progressive disclosure as a way of deepening relationships. People at most workplaces like mayonnaise. They’re used to making the workplace sandwich a certain way. And if someone comes along that wants it made differently from how most everyone else wants it, that person will need to understand that the burden is on them to help others navigate their unique preferences.

So, if you choose to try to create the social reality you prefer, you will be signing up for the following:

You’ve heard the story before, and you really don’t have the time or interest to hear it again. What should you say?

Get certified in Crucial Conversations and teach people in your organization how to:

• Resolve conflict.
• Speak up truthfully and tactfully.
• Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
• Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.