Current mood: Out Of Office etiquette for the very tired

In the British small talk leagues, weather is facing some tough competition right now: tiredness. I’m tired. You’re tired. We’re all tired.

I’m not talking about being metaphorically tired (although I think we can all identify with F. Scott Fitzgerald’s description of Anthony Patch in The Beautiful and Damned: ‘tired with nothing, tired with everything’). That, I think, is just the human condition, the inevitable consequence of getting older and realising that your To Do List is never done. Life’s niggling minutiae – dietary requirements and leaking taps and blisters – don’t stop just because the world is warring and striking and going broke. But let’s not get existential about things – the idea of that is more exhausting than an airport queue.

No, what I am talking about is being literally, physically pooped. Everyone I know is heavy-limbs-and-itchy-eyes tired right now. But why? I have some theories. For some, there are obvious reasons, like noisy neighbours and new babies. And have you noticed that the hayfever is particularly bad this year? That doesn’t help. We’re also in the middle of a social life renaissance. Life is back, back, back! That’s great, great, great, of course, but it’s also tiring, tiring, tiring – especially when we sat all of that out for the best part of two years.

Speaking of The Time We Should Not Talk About, working from home culture also led to a blurring of the boundaries between work and play. Loudly talking about burnout used to be the ultimate millennial brag, but there is a kickback against that (notice the scepticism around #girlboss culture now). It’s why I am coining the term the NO-OO (the No Out Of Office). In practice it means setting a boundary-defining, no explanation, no mobile number provided simple statement ‘I am on annual leave’; in spirit it means reclaiming your downtime for you. You might not actually be going anywhere but that doesn’t matter. A change is as good as a rest? Nah, a rest is as good as a holiday.

And if your people-pleasing side isn’t ready to set a NO-OO just yet, below find my lazy girl life hacks for appearing like a functioning grown up when you’re feeling anything but.

Laura