Skimm'd while trying to chill rosé asap

"Because my ass is located on the back of my body" - Taylor Swift testifying why the front of her skirt looks normal in a photo taken with a radio DJ she says groped her while posing for it. Swift - 1, Lawyer - 0.

BOMBASTIC

The Story

President Trump thinks he may not have been "tough enough" on North Korea lately.

What's going on?

Earlier this week, US intel came out showing that North Korea has created a nuclear warhead small enough to fit in a missile. Similar to the missiles the country tested weeks earlier that experts say could reach the US. Trump responded by warning that if North Korea keeps threatening the US, he'll unleash "fire and fury like the world has never seen." So, clearly he's caught up on GoT. The North said 'bish, please' and by the way, it may attack the US territory of Guam soon.

So what's the latest?

Yesterday, Trump dialed up the tough talk and told North Korea to "get their act together" or else the country would be in trouble. It's unclear what he means by this. But many think it's Trump's way of also pressuring China - North Korea's major ally - to help stop the country's nuclear program.

What are people saying?

Sec. of State Rex Tillerson said the back-and-forth threats are 'mostly all talk' and that Americans should still "sleep well at night." US allies, like Japan and South Korea, are saying this shouting match is dangerous for the region. And China says 'everyone needs to chill the eff out' and agree to some "dialogue and negotiation."

theSkimm

For years, multiple presidents have tried - and failed - to negotiate with North Korea and get it to curb its nuclear enthusiasm. Now it's President Trump's turn. And he's using a much more aggressive strategy.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

What to say when your dad tells you not to text him this weekend because of the PGA championship...

Speaking of champs, yesterday, digital currency startup Coinbase raised $100 million in funding. Coinbase: an exchange for digital currencies like Bitcoin and friends. The new funding brings the company's value to more than $1 billion, giving it unicorn status. And the fact that investors are throwing paper cash at it means they're betting you'll pay for brunch with Bitcoin soon. Yesterday, Blue Apron got its first earnings report. The meal-kit company made more money than expected, but it's also losing customers. Now its stock is worth about half of what it was when the company IPO'd. Meanwhile, another top Uber exec handed in his two weeks, adding one more empty corner office to the list. Also SoundCloud is apparently verrrryyy close to collapsing, so its asking investors to pretty please vote in favor of some rescue cash today. Oh, and yesterday it came out that a startup and some Harvard scientists have created virus-free piglets that could be used for future human organ transplants. What a time to be alive.

What to say when your friend tells you she's quitting that job she complains about constantly...

About time. Earlier this week, Nepal said 'hey, look it's 2017' and made it illegal to banish girls when they're on their period. Yes, that's a thing. For centuries, women in Nepal have been sent to "menstruation huts" during that time of the month. They're also not allowed to touch cattle, veggies, fruit, and...other people. A lot of people in Nepal follow an ancient Hindu practice that considers periods as taboo and impure. And they believe if they don't follow these rules, they'll upset the Hindu gods. Back in '05, the country's Supreme Court banned this practice, but didn't really have any details on how to make sure people don't break the rules. Then in recent months, multiple girls died because of this. Including one girl who was bitten by a snake in a menstruation hut and couldn't get medical help in time. So starting next year, banishing a woman while she's on her period will become a criminal act. This time the new law comes with prison time or a fine. Not a pad idea.

What to say when you realize you fell asleep on the couch...

Not again. Yesterday, Louisiana Gov. John Bel Edwards declared a state of emergency in New Orleans. Over the past few days, the low-lying city's been hit hard with rain and city streets flooded. Now forecasts say there's a lot more of it on the way this weekend. The recent flooding is mostly the result of a malfunctioning water-pumping system, meaning stormwater isn't draining properly. Bad news for a city that's only just recovered from devastating flooding from Hurricane Katrina, which left most of the city underwater. The governor's office said the state of emergency is only a precaution and it allows the state gov to jump in and help the city respond if things get bad.

What to say to your co-worker who crossed a major line...

Pack yo bags.

What to say when you hear President Trump declared the opioid crisis a national emergency...

Here's your Skimm on that.

SKIMM LIFE

"The Good Daughter" by Karin Slaughter

Two gunmen break into a family's home, kill the mom, and traumatize everyone else. Now, one of the daughters is a lawyer and experiences another shooting. This read is like "Law and Order" meets "The Good Wife." Get it here.

Say 'cheers' with this California red blend. It tastes like a smoky berry jam with a few espresso beans mixed in. Stock up here. You'll want to save it for the next time your friends come over.*

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*PS This is an affiliate partner, which means if you purchase or sign up, theSkimm may get something in return. Thanks.

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Skimm HQ is saying cheers to the freakin' weekend. Share with your friend who's always ready for happy hour.

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