“Well obviously she’s desperate” - Salma Hayek’s first thoughts after finding texts on her husband’s phone from a woman named Elsa. Elsa is a language-learning app.

VOULEZ-VOUS VOTE AVEC MOI?

THE STORY

Yesterday, France hit the polls. And now the country’s presidential election is headed to a runoff next month.

WHY DO I CARE?

Because this election is seen as a major test for the rise of populism in the EU following Brexit and President Trump’s win. For years, France has been dealing with a lagging economy, an influx of migrants and refugees, and a string of terror attacks (including one just last week). All of which explains why the country’s tired of the political status quo and ready for change. Yesterday, France cut the list of possible new presidents down from 11 to two.

SO WHO’S STILL ON THE BALLOT?

Marine Le Pen and Emmanuel Macron. They are polar opposites. Le Pen is the populist in the room. She leads a far-right party once known for being anti-Semitic and racist. She’s campaigned on a ‘Frexit’ from the EU and a temporary immigration ban. Macron’s the centrist newbie candidate who got the largest share of the vote. He wants to keep France in the EU and keep the welcome mat out for immigrants. He’s never held elected office and would be France’s youngest president ever.

theSKIMM

It’s been less than a year since Brexit. Now, France has picked two remaining candidates that represent the choice between staying in the EU fam, or potentially following Britain out the door.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CALENDAR FOR THE WEEK MAKES YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO BED...

Congress feels you. This week, Congress will try to avoid this little thing called a government shutdown. The federal government’s bank account officially dries up this weekend. And getting lawmakers to agree on a budget won’t be easy. Dems want to continue funding Obamacare. The GOP does not. President Trump wants to fund a US-Mexico border wall. Dems do not. The solution? The Trump administration says the prez will support continued funding of Obamacare if the budget also includes a check for that wall. If talks fail, the shutdown happens on Saturday…which is also Trump’s 100th day in office. And on top of all this, Trump’s expected to roll out his tax overhaul plan this week. Ready, set, argue.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU THINK EVERYONE’S FINALLY OVER THOSE ADIDAS SNEAKERS YOU HAD IN MIDDLE SCHOOL...

Nope, still a thing. Just like claims of sexual harassment at Fox News. In an interview yesterday, former Fox News anchor and current CNN anchor Alisyn Camerota said Roger Ailes was “grossly inappropriate,” and sexually harassed her when she worked at Fox. Camerota said that when she asked for more opportunities on the network, Ailes said he would have to get to know her better, and that ‘might have to happen at a hotel.’ She said she never talked about this experience before because she was embarrassed. Fox News has been dealing with a series of claims like this for months. Last year, Ailes - the former Fox News chairman - was shown the door amid more than a dozen allegations of sexual harassment against him. Then last week, Bill O’Reilly - the network’s star anchor - was also fired due to similar allegations. Ailes and O’Reilly deny the claims, and they apparently left with a combined $65 million in exit packages. These new allegations, plus reports that a group of black employees will join a racial discrimination lawsuit against the network this week, means more bad PR in a year of really bad PR for Fox News.

PS: 21st Century Fox, the parent company of Fox News, is a minority investor in theSkimm

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT…

Afghanistan. Over the weekend, Taliban militants there killed at least 140 people - most of them soldiers - at a northern army base. The militants, disguised in military uniforms, drove onto the base while solders were observing Friday prayers. It was the deadliest attack against the Afghan military since their war against the terror group started almost 16 years ago. It’s also a major blow for the Afghan government, which has been trying to get rid of the Taliban, ISIS, and other terror groups in the region, with help from the US. Earlier this month, the US military dropped its most powerful non-nuclear bomb on a network of ISIS caves in Afghanistan. That bomb killed almost 100 ISIS fighters, and was seen as a big step forward. Now, a step back.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE TIRED OF THE ‘HOLD MY BEER’ MEMES...

American Airlines just cracked open a new can.

THING TO KNOW

Peggy Whitson: The US astronaut whose poster will soon be in science classrooms everywhere. Whitson just broke the record for cumulative time in space by an American astronaut. She’s been hanging out with Sandra Bullock for 534 days and counting. You go, Peggy Coco.

SKIMM SHARE

SKIMM BIRTHDAYS

* indicates Skimm’bassador. Pop the confetti.

Skimm Brother Peter Zakin (New York, NY); theSkimm’s Steve Moncada (Brooklyn, NY); Lauren Blackburn (New York, NY); Alexandra Pioggia (Charleston, SC); Lance Gellman (Englewood Cliffs, NJ); *Michelle Meador (Eugene, OR); Jaime King (Los Angeles, CA); *Karoline Kinjorski (East Lansing, MI); *Melanie Foster (Kalamazoo, MI); Stevi Petrelli (New York, NY); *Jocelyn Salvador (Houston, TX); *Katrine Herrick (Charlotte, NC); *Mary Kate McCurdy (Long Beach, NY); *Allyson Savin (Washington, DC); *Bri Gaston-Bell (Noblesville, IN); *Clare Schober (Madison, WI); *Nicole Hauptman (Pittsburgh, PA); *Tessa Meland (Lafayette, IN); *Suzanna Seargeant (Austin,TX); *Rory McKenzie (Lindale, TX); *Genny Tankosich (Pittsburgh, PA); *Kaitlyn Skinner (Waco, TX); *Clare Sanchez (Baton Rouge, LA); *Missi Martin (Nashville, TN); *Suzanna Seargeant (Austin, TX); *Leah Farkas (Brooklyn, NY); *Amy Ludwig (Raleigh, NC); *Megan Caruso (Chicago, IL); *Julie Tran (Boston, MA); *Lily Herman (Middletown, CT); *Elizabeth Trent (Athens, GA); *Paige Eberding (Providence, RI); *Liana Montes (Pittsburgh, PA); *Emily Butterfield (Kalamazoo, MI); *Kyle Boyd (Nothampton, MA); *Linde Pirtle (Reno, NV); *Rosa Mejia (Houston, TX); *Darcey Dinh (Orlando, FL); *Kristin Smith (Minneapolis, MN); *Sarah Albright (Washington, DC); *Cynthia Leon (Philadelphia, PA); *Ellen Barlow (Indianapolis, IN); *Elizabeth Bradshaw (Saint Paul, MN); *Feliz Padilla (Yorba Linda, CA); *Andrea Xu (Santa Clara, CA); *Talia Marcus; *Sarah Tambling (San Jose, CA); *Carrie Jansen (Elgin, OK); *Kimberly Conner (New York, NY); *Lauren Belkin (New York, NY); *Jennifer Stubbs (State College, PA); *Macall Virnig (Seattle, WA); *Shanthi Appelo (Knoxville, TN); *Alizah Kramer (Forest Hills, NY); *Erica Tetsworth (San Diego, CA); *Jordyn Brewton (Houston, TX); *Aimee Slavensky (San Diego, CA); *Gabbi Bowyer (Buckhannon, WV); Cathy Richardson (Zionsville, IN); Raven Lewis (Woodville, MS); Buffy Zwirner (Costa Mesa, CA); Caroline Galbraith (Lowell, MA); Tom Kalisky (San Diego, CA); Dana Libov (New York, NY); Kara Delenick (Baltimore, MD); Howard Weinstein (Westchase, FL); Brett Wagner (San Francisco, CA); Mirriam Barazangi (Plano, TX); Jackie Moore (Port Chester, NY); Kristin McCormack (New York, NY); Linda Musumeci (Brooklyn, NY); Stephanie Lawrence (Houston, TX); Hannah Ludy (Marietta, GA); Nikki Smith (Norman, OK); Jackie Freiberg (Philadelphia, PA); Hilarie Blaney (Oklahoma City, OK); Laura Neitz (Syracuse, NY); Lauren Meyer (Dallas, TX); Rachel Price (Peoria, IL); Alice Brewer (St. Louis, MO); Brian Anthis (Madison, TN); Erin Nordquist Miller (Berkeley, CA); Sandy Brewer (Pensacola, FL); Gail Wodowski (Northville, MI); Connie Spong-Brandys (Chicago, IL); Eby Harvey (Houston, TX); Jessica Darpino (Brooklyn, NY); Jacklyn Romaka (New York, NY); Lauren Jacob (Chicago, IL); Peter Siegel (Atlanta, GA); Mary Shanahan (Naperville, IL); Breanne Gibson (Burlington, Canada); Rachel Batson (Bakersfield, CA); Kim Lieb (Chicago, IL); Jane Wolfson (Cambridge, MA); Amy Ludwig (Raleigh, NC); Gina Johnson-Higgins (Lexington, KY); Nancy Hawley (Spokane, WA); Hannah Butler (Toledo, OH); Marla Levinson (Boston, MA); Macy Hannan (Wixom, MI); Kayleigh Bush (San Diego, CA); Olivia Baudais (Oshawa, Canada); Yekaterina Sapozhnina (New York ,NY); Alyssa Morales (College Station, TX); Brita DeSefano (Denver, CO); Katrina Sharpe (New York, NY); Rachael Spero (New York, NY); Susie Rawlins (Jacksonville, FL); Natalie Powell (Atlanta, GA); Pamela Pickens (Newport Beach, CA); Samantha Moore (Charlottesville, VA); Renee Sigman (Columbus, OH); Lori Keenan (Evanston, IL); Nicolette Spaccavento; Katie Christensen (Portland, OR); Ragda McAfee (Ponte Vedra Beach, FL); Katie Neuberger (Plymouth, MN); Taylor Darnell (Dallas, TX); Casey Grooms (Nashville, TN); Andrew Christy (Chicago, IL); Jim Berry (Houston, TX); Katelyn Thomas (Chattanooga, TN); Kelly Lennon (Washington, DC); Nicole Comer (Denver, CO); Ann Kelso (Novato, CA); Cindy Clements-Morabito (Cleveland, OH); Kimberly Sutton (Jackson, TN); Anne Kerr (Little Silver, NJ); Samantha Brenneman (Altoona, PA); Erin Boedeker (Fort Wayne, IN); Lauren Doerner (Lexington, KY); Becky Gerhardus (Portland, OR); Kaitlin Snively (Iowa City, IA); Megan Wasserman (Los Angeles, CA); Jeanette Birkeland (Irvine, CA); Katie Dillon (Newtown Square, PA); John Botz (Thomasville, NC); Sophie Frane (St. Louis, MO); Paige Eberding (Providence, RI); Chandler Jones (Norfolk, VA); Tina Donovan (Bloomfield Hills, MI); Lindsay Wilcox; Laura Adriansen (Atlanta, GA); Beth Tantillo (New York, NY); Cynthia Leon (Philadelphia, PA); Kendel Richards (Fort Worth, TX); Heather Summe-Aleksinas (New York, NY); Meena Beniwal (Seattle, WA); Angela Morgan (Cleveland, OH); Laura Arasmith Wilson (Frisco, TX); Bobbi Rini (Boynton Beach FL); Ellen Reed (Niles, IL); Mitch Colleran (New York, NY); Amy Allison (Frisco, TX); Kayla Parshall (Quincy, MI); Samantha Perez (New York, NY); Holly Crisson (Jacksonville, FL); Vanessa Henry (San Antonio, TX); Susan Loh (New York, NY); Gabbi Bowyer (Buckhannon, WV); Melanie Brook (New York, NY); Blair Pettit (Nashville, TN); Holly Diaz (Long Beach, CA); Lindsey Davis (Chicago, IL); Lisa Prusha (Richardson, TX); Regan Shea (Nashville, TN)