“You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it” - A Canadian police department, threatening to make drunk drivers listen to Nickelback on the way to jail. This is how you remind me…to stay sober.

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE

THE STORY

Parts of the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee are literally smoking.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Earlier this week, a fire started in the Great Smoky Mountains and strong winds carried it down to nearby towns. This comes after wildfires raged through states like Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina earlier this month. That’s because all of these states have been going through really, really bad droughts. And around 80,000 acres of land have been torched.

WHAT’S THE LATEST?

More than 14,000 people have been evacuated from Gatlinburg, a TN town near the Great Smoky Mountains. At least three people have died. Hundreds of buildings have been damaged. And the fires got so close to the Dollywood theme park that it’s temporarily shut down. Parton the interruption. Meanwhile, firefighters are still trying to put out the flames, and National Guard soldiers have been lending a hand with things like wellness checks. And last night, officials put a curfew in place because the situation is still not-so-safe.

theSKIMM

It’s unclear when the thousands of evacuated residents can go back home. But there’s a silver-lined cloud that’s been showering the Gatlinburg area with some rain since Monday, which should help. A little.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CO-WORKER STARTS READING YOUR EMAILS OVER YOUR SHOULDER...

Do you mind? The UK gov doesn’t. Yesterday, the gov passed a law that gives it the right to majorly snoop on its citizens. As in communications companies are now required to keep a database of every website, app, and messaging service customers use for a year. And police and intelligence officials will have access to it all. Edward Snowden — the NSA’s BFF — said this is “the most extreme surveillance” law ever. Supporters say the law will help fight terrorism. Critics say ‘ever heard of a thing called privacy?’ and that the database could be vulnerable to hacking. This also comes as companies like Apple and Twitter have been pushing back against the US gov when it comes to forking over user data. Hint: those same companies aren’t fans of this UK law. Gov’s so big because it’s full of secrets.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU BUMP INTO THE NEW GUY IN THE OFFICE KITCHEN...

Welcome to the team. That’s what President-elect Donald Trump’s saying to his new cabinet picks. Yesterday, Trump said Rep. Tom Price (R-GA) will head up the Department of Health and Human Services. Reminder: Trump has said he wants to abolish most of Obamacare, and Price is not a fan of the healthcare law. So many are saying Price getting the top health job is the nail in Obamacare’s coffin. Trump also nominated Elaine Chao, who was secretary of labor under George W. Bush, as transportation secretary. One of Trump’s priorities is passing a major bill to rebuild US highways and bridges, so Chao (who’s also Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s (R-KY) wife) would be the one helping make it happen. Trump will reportedly give the cash money aka Treasury secretary job to his campaign finance chairman Steve Mnuchin, a hedge fund manager and former Goldman Sachs exec. Also apparently now on Trump’s to-do list: taking citizenship away from people who burn the American flag. Psst…the Supreme Court has ruled (twice) that this can’t happen.

WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT...

The Dakota Access Pipeline. Yesterday, North Dakota officials said they might start fining people trying to deliver supplies to a protest camp near the construction site. This all comes after months of protests against the pipeline, which would run across four states including ND. Protesters — including the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe in ND and environmental activists — say the project threatens Native American sacred sites and the local water supply. There have been multiple clashes between police and demonstrators. Last week, the US gov told protesters they have to break down the camp by next Monday. Then earlier this week, ND’s governor said ‘really, you gotta go’ because it’s getting too cold outside. Meanwhile, protesters have said ‘nope, not going anywhere.’ Officials have said they won’t forcibly remove anyone. But now law enforcement says people trying to deliver things like food to the camp could be fined up to $1,000. So it’s unclear how exactly this will all shake out. Outlook hazy, try again later.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR FRIEND VOLUNTEERS TO BE DD FOR SATURDAY NIGHT...

Alright alright alright.

THING TO KNOW

117: The age of the world’s oldest woman, Emma Morano, who just celebrated her birthday yesterday. She says she’s lasted this long on a diet of eggs. And cookies. Amen.

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