“Man Down” — The name of a new Shia LaBeouf movie that just premiered in the UK. And sold a grand total of…one ticket. Apparently no one else was down.

SYRIA

THE STORY

Yesterday, Syria was hit with the deadliest chemical weapons attack in years.

GIMME SOME BACKGROUND.

Syria has been torn apart by a brutal civil war for more than six years now. President Assad (backed by Russia and Iran) and his forces have been going up against various rebel groups (some backed by the US) who want Assad out of power. Back in 2013, a chemical weapons attack blamed on Assad killed more than 1,000 people in Syria. The international community considers chemical weapons illegal, so this raised just a few red flags. And former President Obama came thiiiss close to military intervention. Until everyone said ‘whoa whoa whoa let’s talk things out.’ Assad’s gov agreed to destroy all of its chemical weapons. Apparently not all of them.

SO WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?

More than 70 people, including at least 10 children, were killed in a chemical weapons attack in northern Syria. Hundreds of others were injured. The US State Dept blamed Assad and said ‘this has war crime written all over it.’ The White House blamed it on former President Obama’s decision not to intervene more forcefully after the 2013 attack. And Russia’s blaming it on the rebels, saying a government airstrike hit a factory where rebels produce their own chemical weapons. Meanwhile, Assad’s gov says ‘wasn’t us’ and pointed the finger at terrorist groups.

theSKIMM

Hundreds of thousands of people have died in the Syrian civil war. And this latest chemical weapons attack comes during the same week that international leaders are meeting to discuss how to support peace in Syria. Outlook very hazy.

REPEAT AFTER ME...

WHAT TO SAY WHEN “SHAPE OF YOU” PLAYS IN THE OFFICE…

Hearing this a lot lately. Same with the name Susan Rice. She was former President Obama’s national security adviser. And she’s now been accused of spying on Team Trump. Reminder: last month, House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes (R-CA) said the intelligence community might’ve “incidentally” picked up some of Team Trump’s communications while legally snooping on foreigners. A lot of people thought Nunes was just trying to give street cred to President Trump’s claims that he’d been wiretapped. Just another day in DC. Note: it is normal for US citizens to get tangled up in surveillance if they are talking to foreigners that the intelligence community is spying on. To protect the privacy of those US citizens, intelligence will ‘mask’ aka hide their identities. If a gov official — like a national security adviser — wants to ‘unmask’ those names, they have to put in a request. And earlier this week, it came out that Rice asked to unmask intelligence reports that included Trump’s transition members. Some said she did this to spy on Team Trump for political purposes. Rice says that’s “absolutely false” and that unmasking requests are a normal part of giving intelligence reports a once over. Po-tay-to, political po-tah-to.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE…

Time to take another look at that. Yesterday, the NCAA lifted its ban on holding any events in North Carolina because the state repealed its controversial ‘bathroom bill.’ Last year, NC passed a law that said transgender people have to use public bathrooms that match the sex on their birth certificate. Supporters of the law said this is to help protect women’s privacy. But critics across the country said ‘looks like discrimination.’ A lot of businesses and events pulled out of the state, including the NCAA. And NC was expected to lose billions over the next 12 years. So last month, NC lawmakers caved and repealed the law. Ish. They replaced it with a new policy that says local governments can’t intro any new laws to protect the LGBTQ community from discrimination until 2020. To which critics said ‘same thing, different name.’ But the NCAA’s still willing to reconsider, saying it looks like their events can now kinda sorta be “conducted in a nondiscriminatory environment.”

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU GET A TAX REFUND…

Cha-ching. Yesterday, Boeing struck a deal to supply an Iranian airline with billions of dollars worth of new planes. It’s the biggest US-Iran biz deal since President Trump took office. For decades, sanctions on Iran connected to its nuclear weapons program meant US companies couldn’t do business there. But back in 2015, the US — along with other major countries — and Iran, signed a deal that dropped a lot of sanctions in exchange for Iran dropping its nuclear weapon ambitions. Cue businesses around the world trying to cash in on new opportunities there. Boeing’s biz deal still needs gov approval to move forward but Boeing says it will add thousands of jobs in the US. Good for Trump, since he promised to put the US job market in overdrive. But also bad for Trump, since he promised to be tough on Iran because he thinks the country can’t be trusted. The art of the tricky deal.

WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO’S ALREADY COUNTING DOWN TO FOOTBALL SEASON...

So is Amazon. Yesterday, it came out that the company struck a $50 million deal with the NFL to livestream football games this year. This comes as people continue to cut that TV cord in favor of options like Netflix and Hulu. And as Amazon’s been continuing to try to take over the world one online shopping cart at a time, it’s also been trying to get more eyeballs - and cash money - by pushing into the video and TV biz. The NFL games will still be on regular ‘ole network TV. But now Amazon Prime members can get in on the game action too. And since sports are a big reason people keep their cable subscriptions, this is one more fumble for cable companies. Touchdown, Amazon.

WHAT TO SAY WHEN THINGS GET HEATED AT FAMILY DINNER…

A can of soda won’t help. 

WEIRD SH*T FROM RUSSIA

We’re trying something new. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Here it goes...

You’ve been seeing the words ‘Russia’ and ‘Team Trump’ together a lot recently. That’s because the FBI’s been looking into whether Team Trump coordinated with Russia to interfere in last year’s election and help Trump win. Now this: earlier this week, it came out that Erik Prince, founder of Blackwater, reportedly tried to help set up a secret communication channel between Moscow and President Trump. Blackwater: a private military firm that got a lot of backlash in the 2000s because some of its guards killed civilians in Iraq. Erik Prince: founder of Blackwater, Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’s brother, and a Trump supporter. Prince allegedly represented Trump in a meeting in the Seychelles with someone close to Russian President Putin, just before Trump’s inauguration. Putin on some suspenseful ‘to be continued’ music.

SKIMM SLEEP

Cortisol: This stress hormone isn’t always bad for you. Cortisol keeps you alert during the day, but doesn’t mix well with caffeine. So get your espresso shots in when cortisol takes a break - between 9am and noon. And when you’re ready to wind down, this mattress and pillow are it. We got you a little discount on the mattress.

SKIMM LIFE

It’s that time of year where you hate everything in your closet. This will make it better. It’s like a shopping spree and hiring a personal stylist in one. And theSkimm just got you a discount on your first order. Spring clean your wardrobe over here.

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