1. Danish Submarine Killer Breaks Out of Prison With Fake Bomb

  NEW DEPTHS 

The twisted millionaire inventor, who dismembered a journalist’s body after sexually assaulting and killing her on his DIY craft, didn’t get very far.

2. 50 Intel Vets: Hunter Emails Look Like Russian ‘Laptop Op’

 SPAM 

A roll call of distinguished former top U.S inteliigence officers slammed the New York Post’s dubious report.

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3. Printing at Home Does Not Have to Suck

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Inkcartridges wants to help you find high-quality ink and toner for your home printer without breaking the bank.

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4. ‘Havana Syndrome’ Attacks Hit CIA Officers in Moscow: NYT

 MORE TO THE STORY 

Trump admin is said to be holding back on what it knows about attacks on U.S. diplomats’ brains in Cuba and China, adding fuel to the theory that Russia may be behind it.

5. First Volunteers to Be Given COVID in Human-Challenge Trial

 GUINEA PIGS 

The British government is paying $12 million to run the test that could potentially speed up the race for a working coronavirus vaccine.

6. I Can Skip the Spa With This At-Home Cupping Kit

 UNDER PRESSURE 

This set of suction cups is better than any massage.

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7. Debate Commission Will Mute Mics During Opening Responses

 THANK GOD 

Biden and Trump will each have two minutes of uninterrupted time to respond to each question.

8. Duterte Owns Up to Philippines Drug Killings: ‘I’m the One’

 BRAZEN 

“You can hold me responsible for anything, any death that has occurred in the execution of the drug war,” Duterte said on TV.

9. Exxon Says Trump’s Hypothetical CEO Call ‘Never Happened’

 ‘JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR’ 

The president claimed at a Monday afternoon campaign rally that he could call up the oil company’s CEO at any time and ask him for a large campaign donation.

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10. Jeff Bridges Reveals He’s Been Diagnosed With Lymphoma

 ‘NEW S**T’ 

“Although it is a serious disease, I feel fortunate that I have a great team of doctors and the prognosis is good,” the 70-year-old actor tweeted.

11. Woman Who Killed Alleged Rapist Speaks Out About Guilty Plea

 ‘I’M NOT A MURDERER’ 

Brittany Smith says she pleaded guilty to murder because it was too risky to roll the dice at trial.

12. All 62 Residents of Kansas Nursing Home Get COVID—and 10 Die

 RAVAGED 

Kansas is in the midst of a coronavirus surge, reporting more than 700 cases a day.

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13. DOJ Argues Trump’s Rape Accusation Denial Was Official Act

 OFFICIAL DUTIES 

He “addressed matters relating to his fitness for office as part of an official White House response to press inquiries,” Justice Department lawyers said.

14. Hiker Found in Zion Went Without Food for Almost Two Weeks

 NIGHTMARE 

Holly Courtier hit her head and ended up near a river bed, her daughter Kailey Chambers said. “She thought her best chance of survival was to stay next to a water source.”

15. 2,000-Year-Old Cat Drawing Found on Desert Hillside in Peru

 NAZCA LINES 

The figure has pointy ears and appears to be lounging.

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