Crucial Skills

Plus, a live webinar with Michelle Gielan on resilient optimism.

Hi John,

To what degree can you help someone with their relationship troubles? Share your perspective in the comment section of today’s article.

Also, don’t forget to register for our upcoming webinar with Michelle Gielan, author of Broadcasting Happiness.

Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue

Dealing with a Narcissist in the Family

Ryan Trimble

Do you have any advice for dealing with a narcissist?

My twenty-four-year-old daughter has a new boyfriend who is a narcissist and she is showing signs of being emotionally abused. He is slowly isolating her—from friends, colleagues, family members. How can I use your skills to show him respect even though he is crushing my daughter? I want to ensure he doesn’t exclude me from her life for when she does need me.

Or can you suggest how I might talk to my daughter so she can see the light? When I tell her I am concerned about her situation, she gets defensive and lies to me, so she’s obviously not feeling safe around me. I have very strong feelings about the situation, so it is crucial I handle this well—I don’t want to lose my daughter. I want to build a better relationship with her and let her know we will always love her and be there for her when she needs us.

Signed,
Looking for a Lifeline

I’m sorry. I have daughters too and know how hard it can be to watch them suffer life’s challenges. I’ll share a couple of ideas that I hope are helpful.

The concluding part of your question tells me your heart is in the right place and, in my view, this offers the most promise for progress. You say you want to build a better relationship with your daughter and let her know you will always love her and be there for her. Tell her that if you haven’t already.

You also mentioned wanting to get your daughter to “see the light.” If this motive is evident when expressing your love and concern, that could explain why she gets defensive. Wanting to get your daughter to “see the light” is a bit at odds with wanting to let her know you will always be there for her. She may not trust your motives.

WEBINAR

Resilient Optimism: Using the Power of Positive Psychology to Fuel Health and Happiness

Join bestselling author and researcher Michelle Gielan to learn practical tips for dealing with stress, anxiety, and uncertainty for resilient optimism.

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Sep 18–22

Crucial Conversations ^® for Mastering Dialogue

Join us live online and learn how to:

Resolve conflict.
Speak your mind truthfully and tactfully.
Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.

He who does not have the courage to speak up for his rights cannot earn the respect of others.

—René G. Torres

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