Destroying (not) the American way of life

As a Democrat accused by Republicans of trying to take away people’s hamburgers, I have to speak in my own defense. I am second to none in my fondness for the beef patty in a bun, a thin slice of onion, and mustard. I do not eat hamburger in a croissant; I am not that type of person. Ketchup is for French fries, mustard for burgers. No mayo, please. The Democrat who’s trying to take away hamburgers is my wife but it’s only my hamburger she’s after, not yours. She thinks they’re unhealthy. I enjoy them even more for her opposition.

As for our wanting to destroy the American Way of Life, I wouldn’t know how to go about that since there are so many Ways of Life involved. Love of human variety is part of it: we’re not a race or breed, we’re an amalgam of strangers and the fact that we can make space for each other is remarkable. Walk down the street and you pass people with headphones tuned to Beyoncé, Brahms, a preacher proclaiming the gospel, a Scientologist, Sean Hannity, poetry plain, poetry strange, Gershwin, George Strait, a podcast about strategic planning. Yes, the country is at war on social media, but in everyday life, Americans show each other enormous tolerance. We look, we smile, we move on.

For me, America means the love of spaciousness, driving west from Minnesota over the open prairie, preferably on two-lane roads, looking at farms, farming being the hardest work there is and unpredictable and dangerous. And also walking through Lower Manhattan and sensing the human history around you in the five-story brick buildings, the people who escaped an emperor or kaiser or czar to come here, no English to speak of, in behalf of their children. They believed that in a free society they would be judged by their character and their competence, not by their social connections. They worked terribly hard at whatever work came their way, in order to secure the right to be American. Certainly, the country produced its share of con men and card sharps, windbags, hustlers, but hard work and competence was honored here, more than family dynasties. We don’t bow to the grand pooh-bahs, we put a whoopee cushion on the throne.

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From National Geographic: Garrison Keillor's Top 10 State Fair Joys

No one loves the fair more than Garrison, and not just the Minnesota State Fair but generally all state fairs! You can hear it in his vivid descriptions from the days of the carney barkers and riding the double ferris wheel in his youth to touring the grounds with his daughter to go on the 'potty ride' where he ends up wet and she ends up laughing. The joys of the fair cannot be overstated. 

Garrison wrote a piece several years ago for National Geographic describing the 10 joys of the fair in full detail. It's a great article and the link to the full piece is included below. 

The Top Ten Joys of the State Fair are:

1. To eat food with your two hands.

2. To feel extreme centrifugal force reshaping your face and jowls as you are flung or whirled turbulently and you experience that intense joyfulness that is indistinguishable from anguish, or (as you get older) to observe other persons in extreme centrifugal situations.

3. To mingle, merge, mill, jostle gently, and flock together with throngs, swarms, mobs, and multitudes of persons slight or hefty, punky or preppy, young or ancient, wandering through the hubbub and amplified razzmatazz and raw neon and clouds of wiener steam in search of some elusive thing, nobody is sure exactly what.

4. To witness the stupidity of others, their gluttony and low-grade obsessions, their poor manners and slack-jawed, mouth-breathing, pop-eyed yahootude, and feel rather sophisticated by comparison.

5. To see the art of salesmanship, of barking, hustling, touting, and see how effectively it works on others and not on cool you.

6. To see designer chickens, the largest swine, teams of mighty draft horses, llamas, rare breeds of geese, geckos, poisonous snakes, a two-headed calf, a 650-pound man, and whatever else appeals to the keen, inquiring mind.

7. To watch the judging of livestock.

8. To observe entertainers attempt to engage a crowd that is moving laterally.

9. To sit down and rest amid the turmoil and reconsider the meaning of life.

10. To turn away from food and amusement and crass pleasure and to resolve to live on a higher plane from now on.

Read the full article via National Geographic with pictures >>>

The Minnesota Show from the Minnesota State Fair Grandstand

Many people asked back in 2016 why the last A Prairie Home Companion show wasn't recorded in Minnesota and instead performed at the Hollywood Bowl. Little did they realize that Garrison had a special treat up his sleeve for his Minnesota fans.

On a wonderful and glorious evening, in front of about 13,000 people, Garrison spun stories, sang songs, visited with Guy Noir, did a jingle or two, sang a few duets and invited some great guest performers along for the ride. The magical evening ran about 3 hours with the intermission sing-a-long featuring a 13,000-person choir singing with Garrison under the stars.

Well, Saturday's classic A Prairie Home Companion broadcast will revisit that Minnesota Show from the grandstand of the Minnesota State Fair as we wrap up the Labor Day weekend. The link for the classic show will appear on our Facebook page and our website at 5 pm CT for your enjoyment as it does every week.  We hope you tune in and listen!

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"I'm A Democrat" set of mugs

Garrison proclaims the values he learned as a child, and asks a question at the end of this political coffee mug. This mug is dishwasher-safe and holds a generous 10 oz.

I'm a Democrat, I confess,
I went to a public school.
Teachers taught us helpfulness
And to follow the Golden Rule.
Don't push, don't be rude,
Don't boast and brag.
Keep a reverent attitude
When you salute the flag.
Don't mess up the environment,
And above all, do not lie!
Don't you wish we had a President
Who is like that? So do I.

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A Year in Lake Wobegon

This collection gathers 12 "above-average" stories representing all the goings-on in Lake Wobegon during one calendar year. 

Each monologue is culled from episodes of A Prairie Home Companion that aired between 2014 and 2016. As an added bonus, liner notes contain a poem for each month written by Garrison Keillor. 

Here is the poem for September:

Bring me a pizza and a bottle of beer
You women come right in here
Turn that music up good and loud
This isn't church this is a dancing crowd
You intellectuals shut your traps
Get up and dance and shake your laps
Tonight let's all be loose and free
Forget the University
The lonely journeys of the mind
Give me synchronicity
With those in front and those behind
Dance does more than philosophy
To raise us mortals toward the sky
So said Shakespeare so say I

Get the CD set >>>